Hahaha, oh Abby. I relate. My house is a disaster waiting to happen where kids are concerned.

Kids are not allowed in mine.

I'm with you Keisha. I'm not keen on children to begin with, but I own a very kid-unfriendly loft and I don't want anyone getting hurt, nor do I want my Eames and Nelson furniture getting maimed. No one under 20 at my house.

house rule: if it's glass, don't touch it.

I will allow a kid (singular) into my home as long as they are well behaved. I will make sure their parental unit(s) are aware of any hazards and I expect them to make sure their kid behaves accordingly. What ever happened to the days when children behaved and listened to their parents??? I was brought up that way but nowadays it seems that so many kids are the total center of their parents' lives and those same parents somehow expect the whole world to child-proof itself so their precious offspring don't get a scratch or be otherwise inconvenienced. Sheesh.

We put everything that can't be played with (DVDs, toys, furniture, books, etc. are ok) on a higher shelf.

Also, don't forget some sort of cabinet locks for your bathroom and kitchen cabinets! I don't go all out with the stove/dishwasher locks for our occasional under-18 visitors as our apartment is fairly small and it takes some time to cause trouble there, but you'd be amazed by the magnetic power of a toddler and a bottle of poisonous cleaner/medication/small objects.

Cheerios, crackers, milk, and bananas are also key parts of the toddler diet.

Our house and yard is a kid-danger-zone... agaves and cactus, lots of places to fall 20 feet from, etc. Visiting parents usually fall into one of two categories: 1) freaked out and hyper vigilant, or 2) suffering from Oblivious-Parent-Syndrome.

Both are pretty awful.

I keep a tub of toys for my nieces and nephew. The 6-year-old is always keen to help with whatever project we have going on and the little girls are very happy with a few kids movies I keep in my Netflix Instant Queue. Pretzels and crackers which I already have on hand for myself keep them well-fed during short visits.

Thankfully, they are being raised well and know that when an adult says "no," it means no, so I don't worry about anything precious (which already is out of small child level by virtue of being out of dog level).

Being a responsible parent requires a great degree of patience and humor.

I try not to surround myself with objects in my home that are beautiful, but objects that I can live without. I've learned that the moment I put too much value on an object, it can be destroyed.

That being said, I'm surprised with the great number of you that feel so strongly about not having kids over. No degree of perfect parenting will control a child- and that's the way it should be. Kids are not free as we were when children to explore, to grow, and to mold themselves. They're molded from birth. From Baby swim lessons to day-care, to scheduled play-groups, to birthday parties, and planned outings, ballet lessons, t-ball, football, cheerleading, piano lessons, and gymnastics all before the age of 4. Then we wonder why these kids are not like adults just yet, forgetting that being a kid- being creative, childlike and innocent are virtues we can only strive to now that we are adults. If your home is a danger zone, take them outside, roll out a roll of butcher paper, and give them a bunch of finger paints. Hose them off afterwards. Try side-walk chalk, bike rides, water-guns, watermelon, picnics, going for a nature walk, swimming, going to the park, rollerblading, camping, storytelling, sitting around a campfire, playing tag, making snowmen, eating ice-cream, dancing, stargazing, playing with play-dough, going to a library, or jumping on a trampoline.

If you don't enjoy being around kids, nobody is forcing you to, but if you open up your horizons, there's a lot of simple joys you can discover by being with a child.

Correction - Kids LOVE repetition. I remember my brother used to watch "aladin" every day after pre-school.

On toys for kids, one of my favorite things to play with at my grandma's house was a bottle of non-toxic elmer's glue (the green one - do they still make that?). I used to cover my hands with it, peel it off when it dried....and repeat. Not sure how your friends/relatives would feel about you handing their kids a bottle of glue though...

Kids are welcome in my home. Basically, my preparations consist of moving all the cleaning supplies from under the sink to a locked cabinet and moving anything breakable to a position above 5 feet--which is about three glass objects in total. I haul out my two bedraggled stuffed animals, some children's books from my own childhood, a set of colored pencils and some blank paper.

I expect the parents to provide food for any child who won't/can't eat what I provide--I'm thinking very small kids and babies. If a kid is really hungry, they'll eat an apple or some popcorn or some crackers and peanut butter--stuff that I have on hand regularly. I expect the parents to provide reasonable supervision so that the child doesn't get hurt--it's far more likely that a kid will pull something like the very heavy brass gong down on his/her head than that the child will break something. I expect the parents to bring something to occupy the child. All the parents that I know do this.

For older kids, I have a guest account with extremely limited permissions set up on my computer so they can play on it, but not mess anything up. There are some kid friendly web sites bookmarked there. And their parents are welcome to browse the DVD collection to see if there is anything suitable for their kids to watch. And the Wii is available, too. My nephews visit my city about 3 times a year. Their favorite thing is getting to watch the Cartoon Network when they're here--their parents don't have cable.

If I knew a small child would be coming over regularly, then I might go out and buy things like outlet covers. But for a three hour visit a few times a year? I would expect the parents to know that their child was in potentially unsafe territory and supervise accordingly.

I'd rather have my friends come over with their kids than never get a chance to see my friends. There's a stage when the kids are very young when really the only practical way for many parents to visit is with the kids. A young man of six recently informed me that I made the short list of his "best buddies." Why? Because I will engage in light saber battles with him. Guess who introduced him to Star Wars? His parents have yet to forgive me.

Toddlers aren't misbehaving, they're just not quite to the point where they understand "don't touch anything glass" or "don't put strange things in your mouth" or why one shouldn't push all the buttons available on every remote control and entertainment device.

Our home is not at all kid-friendly, but we don't have friends with kids, and our family is too far to visit us. Well, kids would LOVE our place, but our toys (instruments, skateboards, curious objects, game systems and controllers) are not intended for the under-5 set.

parents should definitely be aware of the kind of home they might be bringing their child(ren) into. filled with priceless antiques? get a sitter, you'll have a more relaxing evening. the hosts have kids of their own and thus toys and child-friendly food and activities? play away! hosts and guests should also always make it clear whether or not the child is actually invited. around the holidays they likely will be, but don't assume it's always the case.

I have never enjoyed having children in my decidedly un-kidproofed house, but I tolerated them when necessary. That is, until my sofa was decorated every color of the rainbow by a kid old enough to know better. No more kids, period. It's best for everyone.

@ Xarcady - You do pretty much what I do. I love being the favorite "auntie" of most of my friends' kids.

Luckily I can make a pretty quick sweep of my apt to remove any dangerou item (or object I really don't want destroyed) out of potential harm's way.

I fret a lot when my grandson comes over. Less about our stuff, and more about his safety. I move breakables out of reach and keep a box of handywipes around to wipe his gottatoucheverything hands. It's a balancing act and it takes both an awareness about his developmental stage as well as an understanding that in a life well-lived, you'll occassionaly break wineglasses and get mud on the floor. I love pretty things, and I get disappointed when they are damaged. But having lived means so much more.

Elmo is always a good choice but if there is any chance of an adult having to listen to what the child/children are watching I HIGHLY recommend "Kipper". The voice of Kipper is done by Martin Clunes and it has the most amazingly calming effect....

Love the Netflix ideas. I will add that to Auntie's Awesome Amusements. I also keep a toybox with totally out of style clothes for dress-ups and easy toys like a sphere and giant marbles, beanbags, and Mr. Potato Head.

Mr. Potato Head is GOLD.

Oh.....excuse my insinuated curse word but what the efffff!?
Who are these children that just throw stuff around for sport? What sort of people do you surround yourself with who don't discipline their own children?

As a mother, I don't expect my friends who don't have children to provide ANYTHING for my son. Never have. I bring along some of his legos or a pad of paper and crayons, some Playmobil dudes, and he's totally entertained for the visit. When he was a baby, I brought toys and food, too...I never expected anyone to keep an eye on him or entertain him.

I DO think that not going shouldn't be your only option. How else are children going to learn to behave unless you expose them to different situations? We've never had the luxury of a sitter much or grandparents nearby so our kid has been EVERYWHERE. Gallery openings, fancy restaurants, etc. And of course we get looks. Until childless (and even those parents who are there who shuttle their kids away for the night) realize that our kid is behaving and not ruining their lives. He's calm and observant, not a friggin' spaz...maybe less kids would be spazzy if their parents introduced them to the adult world instead of assuming things must be candy coated and child friendly.
And geez, don't feel like you have to child proof your home. I didn't even really childproof my own - well...unless you count me and his father saying, "Don't touch that, buddy." or steering him away from the top of the steps.

---and those of you who are not keen on children? Did you hate yourself as a kid or something too? Sorry but I find that soooo snobby.

(sorry for the long comment, I just wish more parents would be more attentive to their own kids...I do have some friends who DO NOT EVER watch their kids-so I get the sentiment, I do...)

After reading the comments in this post and the post "What Keeps You From Entertaining More Often," I'm really saddened by the sentiments out there toward, well, people in general.

Children are a messy part of life that every person has contributed to by being a child once. Friends are inconvenient no matter how polite.

Maybe I was raised differently than most, but my family mantra was "when the barn's empty there's no crap to shovel." People are what make life meaningful, not good design, as much as I appreciate it.

I can't imagine someone not being open to having kids in their home. No need for special food or toys for my kids, although the extra kindness wouldn't go unnoticed.

If my kids aren't invited, that's fine, but I may not show either. I don't live close to family, can't afford a sitter and you can only ask friends to watch the kids ever so often.

I admit I'm not that great of a parent at other people's houses. Sometimes it's impossible to socialize and keep my kids out of trouble. (I don't turn a blind eye to them, and would take responsibility if something was damaged, however.)

I never thought parenting would be so hard.

I'm thankful that my friends are gracious and continue to value my presence despite of the inconvenience I cause, and keep that in mind when I have the honor of being inconvenienced by them.

Our house is not kid proofed and is not kid friendly. Kids do show up at our holiday party and we do kid-proof the public areas in advance. We also set up the kid room, with toys and game and things for kids to do. They like it, there is always an adult or two overseeing, and the rest of the adults get some adult time. Seems to work all around.

THANK YOU, @anamimi!! My sentiments exactly (except that I don't have kids. But that's not really a sentiment, is it.)

We welcome children of any age but have not kid-proofed our apartment (aside from closing the bathroom door when toddlers are over), and most of our friends have no problem bringing their kids to our house and letting them play. We have some toy-like items (a nerf football or a stuffed animal here and there), but most kids just really like our rubber-mesh coasters and our exercise ball. Since we live in a small place, there's really only one room for all of us adults (and kids) to play around in, so there's not way their kid would be out of their sight.

anamimi - well said. Even though we haven't taken kid-proofing efforts, none of our belongings are as valuable as time with good friends, hence our open door, bring your whole family policy. :)

-I just remove the coffee table when children will be here - opens up the floor for seating anyways.
-I try to remove breakables that are closer than three feet to the floor - I would expect a child taller to have learned not to throw it or break it.
-We do have a short stool that we have placed in the bathroom when kids are over, but if it's not enough I'd just expect the parents to help out themselves.
-As for food, I just mention what I plan to make if I'm doing a dinner. If it's not something the child can or will eat, I ask if there's something simple I can make for them. If they are picky, I'd expect the parent to bring the child's food.

There is a level of reasonableness that parents have to keep in mind, too. I grew up in a house with floor-to-ceiling mirrored closet doors (aah the 80's), a glass-topped dining table and a granite-topped coffee table. I was taught very quickly that glass and mirrors were not toys and that granite hurts.

My point is, yes, some stuff is worth stashing away to make life easier, but kids have to learn sometime. I would have never been allowed to get away with a lot of the stuff this post worries about.

Hurray for anamimi! My kids are grown, but I still avoid un-child-friendly adults. I find I enjoy people who value people over things.

When folks with children visit me, I ignore the parents and play with the kids. Temporarily relieved of the parenting burden, the parents inevitably fall asleep on my couch. The kids go home tired and ready for sleep, and the parents go home rested. Perfect for everyone! :)

Very well put anamimi! My thoughts exactly.

I would add that I have two litmus tests for compatibility (well, 3 if you count having a professed devotion to Paul Krugman): must love my Togo and must like kids. Failing either of those two means someone is too uptight to be much fun.

rayma - No offense but why just not offer to babysit? The parents could use the time for either napping in their own bed or doing errands...and you'll get to play with the kids and get them worn out before the parents come back.

thanks cdanojohnson, you took the words out of my mouth.

i can't believe how many people forget they were kids or teenagers themselves -- and on the other side, how many permissive helicopter parents create spoiled, bratty, entitled children who are a terror to bring over to anyone's house.

but always, always, always... people > stuff. If I can't be bothered to put away the most expensive/fragile things or deal with a bit of mess from kids being kids, I'm a lousy and selfish host. -- but if you have poorly behaved children that you don't bother to discipline or socialize, and want me to provide a kid-centric space for their every whim where every behaviour is acceptable, I may not be meeting you at my house either.

exactly arroyo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....;)

I love to have people with kids over - gives me a chance to play the 'cool auntie' and teach them stuff they shouldn't know :-) Mainly we only have my GF's neice and nephew over though and they aren't toddlers anymore.

I buy suitable food if they are staying, make sure they have somewhere comfy to sleep and we have a bunch of toys which they see little enough of that they ask for them everytime they come. We also have a Wii which they ask for sometimes but generally they are more interested in the other stuff and we make plans to go and do things to wear them out. It's fun and chaotic but awesome!

My only worry is always the dog+child thing so we have to all make sure we control that situation. Otherwise I would just put anything away which I cared much about, especially when they were little.

I am so glad I'm not the only one who does not allow kids in my home. There are a small handful of parents and well behaved kids who we adore, but they're exceedingly rare.

My problem is that

A. The kids, even teenagers, are horribly behaved. The minute they get into the house they run around screaming, roughhousing, and upending my stuff.

B. Then the parents are off in Deep Space 9. I've literally seen parents staring at the ceiling while kids run through places (like cofeeshops) and run into patrons holding scalding hot coffee.

C. Then, when I try to correct the child, I am suddenly a monster. I am always polite and calm, but it's practically illegal to say anything to a child except, "you're perfect, keep screaming and breaking stuff".

When I was growing up, *any* adult was allowed to calmly correct or lecture a child on proper behavior. I was lectured lots of times and I am now an extremely happy adult. I dance. I sing. Yet parents these days would make you think that it's like child torture to use any form of discipline.

These kids in my house? No thanks. The minute they began pulling my cat's tail, then we would have a reeeeeal problem.

....by the way, this does not make me a child hater. Our next door neighbor's 5 kids are polite, they do chores and clean their lawn, and are responsible. I took care of horse stalls when I was very young and it gave me a sense of accomplishment, not a sense of growing up too soon.

These 5 kids are allowed in our house any time, any day.

I am ok with kids (I do prefer adult conversation/activities and kids bore me but I don't dislike kids) and have a few nephews and when they come over I try to have a few toys or whatever out so they don't get bored. My house is a playground for them we have computers and movies and games and books.... But I am not expected to bend over backwards for them, they are not my kids! My nephews, I will because well I love them. My dog also looooves kids and plays well (almost too well, she puts up with abuse I can't tolerate from kids, like tail-pulling).

I have friends with 2 little girls. One little girl is afraid of dogs. We were all at our friends camp for a weekend (big group of adults, kids and dogs) and I overheard the mother explaining to her daughter who just asked why the dogs were around, that the dogs were welcome as much as the humans and they were not hurting anyone. I went up and explained to my friend that if she wanted to introduce her (scared) daughter to a dog, that my dog is very very nice and predictable and loving and she might be the best option to introduce to a dog-scared little girl. So the mom spent the next hour with my dog and her daughter teaching her about dogs and how some dogs can be mean but some can be very nice, and by the end of the day the daughter was playing fetch with my dog. She handed me a drawing she drew of my dog (her new friend) and it is on my fridge right now!

So I guess, like dogs, it depends on the kid. Some are well behaved, so are not. Some misbehaving I can even tolerate, from dogs and kids. It happens. No need to get too wound up.

Kids do not belong in a quiet romantic expensive restaurant or R-rated movie though.

Oh one thing I can never prepare for that does annoy me about even my dear nephews... They are always HUNGRY. Always wanting a snack. Always. Where do they put it?

And the food I prepare for dinner? They ask for cereal. My sister just gives in a feeds them cereal. When will they learn to eat like a normal human? They are spoiled when it comes to food. I told my sister I simply can not stock my kitchen for their weird food requirements, that they either eat what I give them or she has to bring them food.

Oh well.

I don't have kids, so my home isn't child-proof, or anything close to it. Toddlers need to be watched like a hawk: we don't have a place to 'lock away' our cleaners, and there seems to be something breakable on just about every surface possible.

I don't apologize for it. I like kids, and I'll spend time with them while they're at my house to give their parents a break, but I don't do much beyond that and putting a movie on it they want one.

I don't mind kids, but I get extremely annoyed by parents who bring disobedient children to my house. Also, my dogs live here; your kid doesn't. I'm not locking the dogs in the basement just to appease my guests.

However, I will try to keep your kid entertained and happy if they come over and don't act like a heathen :)

This topic is always good for an argument, eh? I was one who stated that I don't allow kids. That does not mean I value things over people. If it were your kid's life vs. my sofa, I'd give it up without hesitation. When it's your kid's apparent freedom to express himself on any surface he chooses, no. I had provided paper on which to color, not furniture. I completely agree that parents need to introduce their children to adult situations and not expect them to be entertained. That's life. Until the parents whom I know teach their kids how to behave as a guest in someone's home, they won't be welcomed. As a child I was taught how to be respectful and polite, so no, I did not hate myself. What a ridiculous notion.

If you don't want kids to draw on your furniture, don't give them pens and expect them to stay on the paper. Children are unpredictable, prone to breaking rules despite consequences and they make noise and messes.

Children want and know how to get attention, even if it's negative. Visits between parents and other adults shifts attention away from the child and can result in acting-out.

Not all children are the same. Not all adults are the same. Some people are mild mannered while others are wild and crazy.

I think it's fine if people don't want children in their homes. I wouldn't say that those people value their things over people. And so what if they do.

I have two boys that are for the most part absolute terrors. They talk too loud, they prefer some form of stomping or running over walking in almost every situation—despite what I say/do to stop/redirect it.

They don't remember to say please and or thank you—despite my constant reminders. And even then they will sometimes flat out just refuse to utter the words, and then cry when they don't get what they want because of it.

They think words like poop and fart are hilarious and will use them at the dinner table even though they know it means they're going to loose out on dessert. They interrupt conversations without saying excuse me.

They like to roll things down stairs, unravel rolls of toilet paper and throw things inside the house.

They splash in the bathtub, empty out whole bottles of soap or shampoo to make bubbles, and they leave the toilet seat up/down/every which way.

They've peed on the dog, broken windows and drawn on the walls.

It's a constant job teaching them to be respectful and polite. Some people understand and others don't.

Between the two of them there is usually an incident of some sort when we go to a friends house. More along the lines of saying farty poop pants than peeing on the dog. They save all the good stuff for us I guess.

I assume full responsibility for my children, for better or worse. I certainly do not expect people to change up their whole way of life for a short visit.

I recently had a house warming party and in one of the spare bedrooms that didn't have much to mess up, I set up the TV and the kids that were over enjoyed a movie together. They must not have come out of that room for nearly three hours. After that, it was time for dinner anyway. I don't have kids myself and I don't think that it's too hard to keep them entertained, no matter the age.

Also, it's not that some of these people value things over their company... it's just the simple fact that NOT having kids allows you to have a different lifestyle. I mean, even when we got a dog a friend told us to walk on our hands and knees around the house to see what could possibly be entertaining... and it was a lot! That stuff was only there because we didn't have to worry before. It's not placed there because I value it over you. Plain and simple!

Wow, we should start a pets vs. kids war...lol.

I have a 5 year old, so I should know these kid proofing things. I didn't realize how bad it was until I started keeping my one year old nephew on Wednesday afternoons. Yeah, it's a danger zone. I've baby proofed the living room, but that's it. He just can't go elsewhere with out constant supervision.

I think the moral of both this post and the pet post is that if you own a small creature, teach it to behave. There.

msjessiemeghan - AMEN on no children at rated R movies - this has always drove me insane. When Rob Zombie's Devil's Rejects came out a few years ago, I was surprised to find so many parents bring children under the age of ten in.

My sister has 4 kids, ages 9 years-3 months, and I love having them over. I don't worry about them destroying valuable things because they're trained to listen to their parents, who tell them what they're not allowed to touch. They also pay attention to what they're doing and punish them if they disobey. It's a novel approach, I know, but it totally works. I can't stand the modern hands-off, free-range child approach. If you don't have time to teach your children to be civilized human beings, you probably shouldn't have them.

I agree wholeheartedly with the rule of thumb you suggested: If it would be upsetting, expensive, or time-consuming to repair the kind of damage kids inflict to any object or surface within reach, get it out of the way. I'm lucky to have a spare bedroom/home office. When I entertain, I take lots of things that have value (sentimental or otherwise) and remove them to that room, which remains locked.
A benefit of this is that shelves and table surfaces are emptier, allowing guests room for drinks and plates.
Another tip: At my Christmas event, I'll empty the coats in my coat closet so guests can hang theirs, rather than inviting them into my bedroom to lay coats on the bed. Then there's no good reason for anyone to go into my bedroom, so then I can keep it closed -- some people can't resist the urge to peek in drawers and medicine cabinets!

@ pureevil: I like that. I'd word it just a little differently: "If you care for a small creature, help it learn to behave in ways that will help other creatures love it as much as you do."

We have twin toddler boys, and they're a handful. And yes, we bring EVERYTHING we need to manage them as best we can while visiting. Here are a couple of key tricks.

1. We have two of those cheap adjustable gates and we take them along. No kitchens or stairs allowed. A corralled toddler is a more manageable toddler.

2. Portable DVD player with Elmo and Pixar. That way they're not messing with the host's TV, and we can set them up wherever. Also good for long car rides.

3. Toddler eating seat & tray that straps onto a regular chair. Add the DVD player and the parents can enjoy dinner!

Removing the coffee table is an excellent suggestion. They will want to climb on it regardless of what you do.

I welcome my friends and their kids into my home but am not a fan of people who bring their dogs into my home. The dogs run around into every room and it makes me so anxious that they are going to mark their new territory, that I can't enjoy the gathering. It's also not pleasant for other guests with allergies.

Wow. It's really disturbing to see how many people seem to hate children so much. Good thing you never were one and will never have any. Having a child is the biggest eye-opening experience in the world and forces you to be less materialistic and self-centered, gifts a lot of people on here could use, honestly. But I take great comfort in knowing your Eames chairs shall remain pristine--much more important than the future of our race, to be sure.