When to leave me a voicemail - If you want me to actually call you back. If you don't leave a message then I'll just assume the call was either an accident or just not very important.

I agree aninhas! I assume missed calls with no voicemail= unimportant.

Ya.... about that. I ditched my cell phone for a land line, so texting isn't an option anymore. Also, a ton of the people I know with cell phones opted out of the caller ID because their plans were expensive enough as it was.

Since I don't keep track of who does and doesn't have caller ID, I leave voicemail.

I'm always annoyed with the message, "Call me back, I have something to ask you." Just tell me what you need, and I'll be prepared when I call you back.

I'm with Aninhas on the callback message, though. I won't return calls to numbers I don't have in my phone.

I agree w/ Aninhas. Another time when it's more appropriate to leave a VM is when you're driving and can't text. Using a hands-free device, of course...

Voicemails are RUDE.

I completely agree about texting being more convenient/informative/easy to check - but I've been burned by people not having texting plans!! As in "Please don't text me, that costs me $0.50." So now I feel like I need to ask people first if I can text. Argh.

Texts are .30c each for those of us who've opted out of that feature on our cell phone plans. Risk annoyance if you leave one uninvited. Leave a voice-mail and the reason you called, even if it was only to catch up.

I'm with some of the previous comments; I don't have caller ID on my phone (so unless you're in my phonebook I don't know who called) and I never call back unless there's a voicemail left.

I hate texting. It's so irritating, the painfully slow clicking like a stupid monkey at those little keys. no thank you.
Phone calls are so much easier and more direct.

Agreed on the no voicemail = no call back. Please do leave a voicemail if you want to hear from me. No idea why one poster thinks voicemails are "RUDE." I couldn't live without them.

If you leave a VM, I'll return the call quickly, but I don't pay attention to the caller ID and I'll only text those that I absolutely know have text on their phones, and then I rarely text back if I get one. If it's urgent, they'll call, if it's trivial they'll text.

I am on the other side here. I hate voicemails. Especially ones that just say, call me back. If I have a missed call from you, I will call you back. Sure this doesn't apply to numbers I don't know, but if I have a missed call from Dad, I will call Dad back. If he called by accident? Eh, then I get to have a nice surprise chat with him.

i hate voice mails.
did i read that post correctly?! someone traded their cell phone for a land line? am i the only one confused about this? also confused about people who dont use texts... unlimited isnt very expensive, and much easier to talk to people than a phone call that ends up lasting 10 minutes.

i see you have called, if i feel like like calling you back i will. if i dont, i'll text.

Oh, please. "Thank us later?" Nope, not for bad advice like this. Not everyone has a cell phone, and not everyone has a data plan that includes texts. Here's a hint: if the person has voice mail enabled, then it's an acceptable means for leaving a message. If the person doesn't want voice mails, then they can disable their voice mail so you can't leave messages.

There are plenty of good reasons to leave voice mails, but I haven't actually seen a good reason not to leave one, and yes, I have read through the post and all the responses.

When not to leave a voicemail: always.

Voice mails are like notes -- leave the information you want delivered and ask for a callback if needed. If the information is private and the household has more than the intended recipient in it, then just a clue might be left. (I work in a library -- because of situations like people waiting for books on filing for divorce, we try to NEVER leave voice mails that specify what items are ready for the borrower -- you never know what the information could stir up in the wrong hands. We consider this a basic privacy issue and it's part of our "code of ethics".)

Voice mails are NOT rude -- what a weird idea!

And although I haven't made it quite to 65 yet, do NOT text me -- I never ever read texts, and they have to be paid for (in my case, by the nice person who bought me the cell phone service, so even MORE rude when not even the recipient pays!)

Do NOT call my cell phone unless I have specifically told you to. I won't answer -- often it's in my handbag in another room entirely, especially when I'm at work. If I'm en route and I told you I'd be listening, then calling on my cell might work... mainly it's for emergencies and playing Sudoku when I'm waiting to be seated in a restaurant or something!

Do NOT call me on my land line to sell me something, poll me, ask for a contribution, or for any other reason apart from my actual business or friendships. (Doctors count as "business") I hate phone calls and I do have caller ID and I just won't talk to you if I don't have a reason to!

If you want my participation, send me an email. I quickly screen the stuff my filters miss, so I can focus on the Real Mail, and I'm way more apt to reply or cooperate if I have that extra time to think things over and reply at my own pace.

Techno-snobs may THINK everyone in the universe has and adores their cell phones and they may try to create a new code of etiquette based on that, but I'm here to tell you, only a portion of the population really agrees with that, and nearly everyone I know of all ages (from teens to elders) thinks voice mails are just fine, texts and emails are great, and every format has it's uses.

VMs seem redundant in a lot of ways, but it really differs as to what phone you are using-basic cell, smart phone or landline. It's similar to cassettes, cds and records-just when we all get on the same page, MP3s will come out and change it all again.

The article is assuming the calls are from/to people you actually know. Obviously if you're calling a stranger or new acquaintance you would leave a message. I find the "you didn't leave a message so I didn't call back" type of people annoy me in many other aspects of life. I think a good a rule of thumb for a voice mail is, is it really important? is it too long to text? does it not require a call back? if most of that is yes, go ahead and leave that voice mail.

No voicemail = I will not call back... Unless its from my mom, who kind of doesnt like to leave voicemails:)

I am finally on the verge of giving in to all of my friends who have been begging me to text. I can't quite let go of the idea that taking up texting is something like selling your soul. Way too many people abuse the technology- texting while in the middle of a face to face conversation with other people, texting while walking down the street, texting while driving, while at the movie theatre.... it feels like this technology is taking society down a slippery slope and we're leaving all etiquette behind. Checking your voicemail is too much hassle? Really? I just miss the days when my friend dinner dates were just the two of us, not three, four, five... how many people is she texting, anyhow?

I have a mutual agreement with my most frequent callers/callees: If we don't leave a voicemail, consider the call unimportant and call back only if and when you want to. This prevents having to make an additional call to voicemail. This only works if you have caller ID though.

Hear hear! I agree completely!

Even my mother now prefers text messages left instead of voicemail, because it's sooo much easier for someone who is getting a little hard of hearing to deal with than trying to replay a voicemail a dozen times to understand what it says.

As for people who hate texting or clicking on little keys - someday you will experience a modern smart phone. Most of them will record text for you, which is awesome! The technology is still somewhat in its infancy, but by the time you're ready to deal with the smart phones, probably all the kinks will the ironed out. Right now you wouldn't want to dictate an essay with them, but they're perfect for the kind of "Hey, I will be late for dinner" or "Mom, when is Uncle Roger's birthday party again?" type of questions that used to clog up voicemail.

And even if you HATE HATE texts - please, when it comes to important, exact information, give in a little and text or email it! I have a relative who insists on giving phone numbers or addresses over the phone on voicemail, which invariably ends up with something getting messed up in translation as I replay it a few times and try to get it right. Three seconds of effort spent texting the number to me would make sure I had it exactly right, and could copy and paste it to my contacts as well.

Get a Google Voice number. Have all of your voicemails automatically converted to text. Best of both worlds.

What KimberlyRose said.
Yes, lots of people have cell phones but there are also people like me who keep a cell phone for emergencies only. So if you text me, I will most likely not find it until 4 days later (if at all). I am on a pay as you go plan because I have absolutely no use for anything else and I don't need to add another $35 or whatever for a specific plan (I don't think there is anything lower than that) to my monthly bills.
Likewise, not everybody has a smart phone with millions of apps - oh gods, HOW ON EARTH am I surviving when I don't have an app that would tell me how many calories in a specific restaurant meal???!? - and when I see the little "maze" on every second page of a magazine that is to be scanned it irritates me. I am buying a magazine to read it, so please don't please don't send me to a website. But this is a different topic.

I will happily continue to use my landline. And by the way, in Ontario, you are not allowed to use a mobile when driving (i.e. a handheld one). Besides, research indicates that even handsfree devices are very distracting for drivers.

if you are calling a cell phone, the post makes sense. I hate getting voicemail unless there is real info within. if someone calls my home and doesn't reach me, they can call again or reach out another way.

Cheers to all of you who are anti-texting. Everyone with an expensive phone makes me feel like a pariah. (I have a flip phone that came free with my plan- a grandfathered plan from the 90s-- I doubt there's a more affordable one out there). That said, I'm not cheap. There are plenty of things I choose to spend my money on that others would think are ludicrous. I just don't value having that technology enough to pay the steep cost.

My dad is definitely in the no VM camp. His message states that if you need a quick response to please text or email him as he doesn't often check VM. I think that is a good solution if it really irks you.

CCCB12, you read that correctly. I had a cell phone for six or seven years, and ditched it for a land line.

I started working from home, so I didn't need mobility anymore. I always hated texting anyway, since I had unlimited calling, and trying to arrange a meeting with a texter took twice as long as just having a conversation with them. Also, I didn't text often enough to bother with a plan. Did I mention that my cell phone cost me three times as much as my landline? I PAID OUT MY CONTRACT (ten months), and that cost combined with my landline was still less money that I had been paying for my cell phone, and I didn't even have a smartphone. Now, if I leave the house, people leave me voicemails and I get back to them.

I've been operating this way for close to three years, and I can count on one hand how many times I thought it would nice to have a cell phone again (for example: a completely toast flat tire. But guess what? I walked into a restaurant, and they let me use their phone to call someone. They even gave me a phone book to use.).

24/7 connectivity is over rated. I like that people have to actually call me if they want something.

Would it be rude for me to forward this to my parents? I love them very dearly, but they leave the "call me back when you get this" voicemails all the time. I would much prefer voicemails for the most important communications like family emergencies or happy birthdays that way I know if I have a voicemail from a friend or family member that it's very important.

Also, I usually respond much faster to text messages anyway because I can be much more discreet (particularly at work) and then call the person, if necessary, when I have a free moment.

I agree with the post. I hate voicemail in general. I use it in job/work situations--I leave messages with businesses, businesses call me and ask for interviews, etc. Though really most of that is done through email these days. But with friends and family--just text me. I hate getting voicemail that just says "call me." I also check my voicemail very rarely, whereas I check texts instantly. So if someone really wants a response or it's urgent, just text. I don't return unknown numbers that don't leave messages, but if my dad calls I'll always call back.

Voicemail is for someone who wants to have a call returned. Otherwise, I won't return your call because I don't like being on the phone in anyway. I will text someone, but honestly after about 4 text back and forth I call the person because I find it irritating to communicate in this manner on an invention that was designed to allow VOICE transmission. (Yes, I have a smartphone and even use swype) But I think moving in retrograde back to the time of telegraphing to communicate is unnecessary.
Voicemail is not rude, being able to leave a competent, complete and coherent voicemail is important to know how to do in today's world and far too many people don't know how to do it.

Ok- shouldn't it be obvious to everyone from the responses- some prefer voicemails, some don't. So don't assume you can speak for all by saying "this is now the rule". How ignorant. Oh, and all you texters, thanks for adding on charges to people who don't have texting on their plans. IGNORANCE.

No voicemail, no returned call. Additionally, I'm tiring of calling people, leaving a voicemail, and then getting a returned call "Did you call me?" Yes, and I left you a message "Yeah, I didn't listen to it." Suddenly, I'm getting another call and have to go....

I can honestly say that I don't know of any friends of mine who don't text. And most of them are in their 30s. It's completely replaced voice mail for us.

Voice mail is used by my family and people I don't really know (e.g. appointment reminders, etc.). That being said, I'll only text people that I know text. I don't assume that everyone does.

As for missed calls - I usually only return them if it's family or my boyfriend. Otherwise, if it was important, the caller should have left a voice mail. Or text. And who has to pay for caller ID on a cell phone? No, seriously, what awful provider is that so I can avoid it. Even my mother's land line has free caller ID.

I also don't use a smartphone (go Team Flip Phone!), and my calling plan is from 2000. And I've still had texting capabilities since 2004. I splurged on the extra $5/month.

I like voicemails! it's sort of like getting a letter, technologically 'old fashioned' (according to this post), but a nice gesture.

It's totally a pet peeve of mine when people don't listen to their voicemails - they can contain important information!

This post is so wrong on so many levels.

Aninhas is right on the money. I'm not calling you back if you don't leave a voice mail unless you're my husband and you're on your way home from work and I know you just want to chat. But you're not, so I'm not calling you back.

Unlimited texting in my area is $15/month, or $180/year to put that in perspective. What would you buy with an extra $180 in your pocket? Plus having a txt convo longer than 4 txts is stupid. Just call me.

I can't believe no one has mentioned the LENGTH of vm messages. Mom, I love you! Please DO NOT tell me a story over the phone and then expect that I will return the call so I can listen to it all over again!

I feel so bad, but she gets 10 seconds of vm and then I call her back. Arg. And she's not the only one. Double Arg.

How old is this poster, sounds like you haven't been presented with many life situations to make such generalizations. Each form of communication has its place...even, gasp, handwritten notes! That said, count me in the camp of—if you don't leave me a reason (i.e text OR voicemail) to call you back, you won't receive one just because you showed up on my caller ID.

Within my group of friends (early 30 somethings), we leave VM if we're calling for a purpose. If we're just calling to chat, appearing on the caller id is enough, if the other person wants to call back, they will. I guess we have trained ourselves to do this because half the time the other person just calls back without listening to the VM, so why waste breath.

My mom almost always leaves a VM, and so do acquaintances and people I have appointments with. I think VM still has a place, but I agree that if you know the person you are calling and know their VM habits, it's totally fine to not leave a message (and in fact preferable).

These matter-of-fact posts on AT always annoy me (and yet for some reason I still read them and all the comments) because it's such a sweeping generalization. Yes, it's true that there are other forms of technology out there that mean leaving a voicemail isn't always necessary. But it still varies by person. Declaring that there are only four times when leaving a vm is appropriate is ridiculous.
For me, it varies for each family member and friend. Each relationship is different and unique and so is our form of communication - calling/texting/e-mailing/never staying in touch until we see each other in person.
There's no one right or wrong way to use technology, no matter how many times people try to declare it in an article or blog post.

TIL: Apartment Therapy commenters are ooooold.

... I'm 27.

Thank you for the google voice comment. I've already set it up. What a wonderful thing!

Even my dentist's office has done away with phone call reminders and leaving voice mails. Everything is text or email. VMs can be inaudible, a pain to access, and they just get on my nerves. Send me a text.

I'm 39.

someone please forward this post to my mother.....

I'm going to continue to leave voicemail messages. Rebel, I guess. I do some communication via e-mail, but not hours. I've never in my life sent or received a text. And I just don't want to live a life where I am constantly seeking instantaneous responses. I do like e-mail for basic information, like appointment reminders, or to tell DH something while he's at work. Otherwise, please give me a human being.

When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don't stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven't hoed,
And shout from where I am, What is it?
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.

I think more of us need to thrust our hoe in the ground...

(That was Robert Frost's poem "A Time to Talk.")

I hate voicemails that say "just call me back". It takes forever to get to the actual vm. Even if you know which prompts to select it is annoying to be asked repeatedly if you want to check your voicemail, if you wnt to check old or new messages, etc. YES I want to check vm or else I wouldn't have called it. I despise calling vm. My grandmother always leaves a VM and I no longer check it because it always says the same thing "It's your grandma, just giving you a call". I have to explain to her that I already know she called because of my phonelog.

What I especially hate is when someone on a landline calls and I just miss the call so I try to call them back...it's busy...so now I have to wait for the caller to listen to my vm message, leave a vm message, hang up the phone, and wait for my phone to receive the vm message...which ususally is a message saying "call me back". Well, yeah, I was trying to call you back....5 minutes ago.

I use Google Voice, which sends me an email transcription of the voicemail, so I never listen to them regardless of the sender's feelings on the matter.

On the other hand, the world is full of institutions like my doctor's office, which not only still depends on creaky old voicemail, but stubbornly insists on pretending everyone still has a fax machine.

@ Care_Bear... for reals! I think that the two camps come down to generational lines (& early adopter lines).
I agree that if you are calling a stranger, a voicemail is appropriate, but if its someone you know… voicemails are annoying- Especially the "call me back" ones.
no text messaging? Many phones are now smart phones with data plans and we’re really complaining about text fees (testing has been around for a DECADE)? In many parts of the world (Europe & Asia) it’s far cheaper & more time efficient to text instead of call- especially if you are only asking a simple question. No text then use google chat, aim or email- it’s on every smart phone. plus, it's cheaper to get less minutes for talk and unlimited text.
I personally don’t listen to voicemails because you basically gave me another chore. I will likely call someone right back instead. I use to be in the “no voicemail = unimportant” camp & part of me still feels that way, but I’ve gotten to the point where if you want me to listen to it in the next week you should probably send me a text message to let me know it’s important.
Also, how is ditching a mobile plan for a land line ever a good idea? You go from having the convience of mobility and being able to call people in case of emergency (like it you’re in a car or whatever) to not having that option & being charged for long distance calls. I use to have a land line in my old apartment and the only people who called that thing were telemarketers & political polls.

* texting has been around for a decade

Why go to a landline?
- Sound quality. Many older persons can't get the volume and quality they need with a [cheap] cell phone.
- Cost. $10/mo for a landline under Aid to the Impovrished versus $30-200/month. Some people are _poor_
- Comfort. Holding a handset is "better" than holding a cellphone. Learning to press the Go button after entering the numbers can be a challenge (especially for people with Mild Cognitive Impairment or learning disabilities, or just general "I don't want to learn One More New Thing." )

I'm in my 30s, but it amazes me that people who spend hours playing games on their phones or otherwise engaged with electronic devices feel "oppressed" by the few seconds it takes to listen to a loved one's or friend's voice in a voicemail. My 88-year-old grandmother calls me every week and leaves voicemail when she can't reach me, and I love replaying the best of those messages. When my best friend was going through chemo and didn't have the energy to talk or email, she asked me to call and leave stories on her cell phone voicemail, and those stories cheered her up while she was undergoing treatment. Why such nastiness in response to hearing someone's actual voice? It's still up to the recipient how s/he wants to respond.

I freaking HATE voicemail. You can get unlimited texting for like $10/month. Cmon people. Get on board. It's much more convenient than voicemail. Drop your minutes down and add in texting. Among my peers, it's just known that if you missed a call, you call back. A VM saying "Call me back!" is not required. This post is spot on.

Each mode of communication has its place:
Text = for one-liners.
VM = for longer messages, or if you're driving and don't have Siri. I'm shocked people think VMs are rude, but that's probably only because of simple "call me back" messages, which I never do. That is pretty annoying, I have an uncle who does this as his "trick" for getting people to call him back that I refuse to fall for - just leave the reason for the call if you're leaving a VM!
Email = for longer topics you want a record of, or if you think the receiver will need to read it carefully or repeatedly.
Hand-written note = thank yous, especially to the older generation.

I hated voicemails until I got an iPhone - visual voicemail is a total game changer. Now my rule of thumb is, if you call me but don't leave a voicemail or send a text, I assume it isn't important and I won't return the call. (My parents are the exception to the rule.) If you text or leave a voicemail, obviously I will listen/read and respond accordingly.

Seriously though, visual voicemail is the greatest thing ever.

I live in New York City and don't get reception on the subway so they only way I will know if anyone calls during that time is if they leave a voice mail or text.

Whether or not you like voicemail, can we ALL agree that a voicemail containing no information other than "call me back" is the most annoying thing on the planet? If you have something specific you want to talk about, or a question, let me know so I can call you back and answer it instead of me wondering if you want to tell me someone died or if you just want to check what my favourite colour is. I've tried telling my dad this soooo many times but he's so trained from his many years managing people over a land line phone that he is too set in his ways.

I also second the person who said to sign up for google voice! It makes it SOOO much easier to check voicemail. It automatically pops up on your phone when you have a message and transcribes it (not with the greatest accuracy, but close enough to get the gist) and if you want to listen to it you just hit play and it'll play, no more password BS! It makes voicemail more like checking your email or a text rather than a chore.

Agree that "Call me back" voicemails can be mildly irritating. On the other hand, if I just see someone's caller ID on the phone, but no voicemail was left, I am highly unlikely to be motivated to call them back.

And I hate hate hate it when I leave someone a voicemail (with all the information they actually need), and they just call me back and go, "You called?" "I left you a message." "Oh, didn't listen to it. What's up?" Argh.

I also agree that not everyone texts or likes texting, and not everyone has an unlimited text plan on their phone. Not even everyone under 35 has an unlimited text plan. I only text people who've texted me first. (And I hate texting anyway.)

Leaving a voicemail is never rude, unless it's a rude voicemail. Even if it's just a friend with no concrete purpose for calling you, leaving a voicemail saying, "Hey, just wanted to catch up and hear your voice" is nice. How can that ever be rude?

I think the reason younger people associate voicemail with rudeness is just a matter of context and what they're used to.

If many of the voicemails you get are from unpleasant sources - doctor calls, emergencies, late bill payments, teacher meetings, people you don't know well, etc, then you start to associate voice messages with unpleasant, awful things! You get so you don't WANT to check voicemail, as there may be something unpleasant on it. No, it doesn't make sense, but emotions rarely do.

Another problem is with time control. Young people these days are used to absolute control over their time. With a text message or email you can instantly scan to the most relevant parts and see how quickly you need to react. With a voicemail, it can feel like you're held hostage while the other person introduces themselves and goes through the message, and you may have to replay it several times if all the information isn't perfectly clear. Yes, it's silly to be annoyed by the loss of two minutes, but try telling that to yourself when you juuuust miss going through several red lights because the cars in front of you are too slow.

What actually annoys the most is people who inform me that I MUST text because it's convenient for THEM. "Come on people, get on board," as it was put in a comment above. Nope. If you want me to text you can pay for it. Don't tell me how to communicate.

"pressing "1" on your phone and entering a mailbox password is a chore."

Oh, the horror...

I’m in the “gave up my cell phone for Skype” camp, with some overlap in the “if you’re not my mother don’t text me on my emergency/travel cell (and how did you get this number!?)” camp. Because I’ve set my net-number to scramble on outgoing calls, I have no choice but to leave a message or nobody will know I’ve called them. As to texting, I personally hate it. If what I have to say can be communicated in a sentence, chances are it can go without being said. And don’t get me started ranting about the shortcuts people try to take when texting, I could go on for hours before I grabbed the nearest person, ripped their head off and started sucking the marrow from their bones. Also, I'm 26, unless you're a pre-teen you really can't call me old.

How to avoid voicemails: Have a really obnoxious answering machine message - like off-key singing. Or just any singing at al.

I have a pay as you go cell phone that I only use in emergencies. The number I give everyone is my Skype, which is I use as both a land line and via my laptop when I travel. It works great, and I can receive the occasional annoying-ass text if I have to. When I call people I leave voicemails if I do not reach them. I never leave one saying "call me back." I always try to give an idea of what I am calling about (re: craigslist purchase, want to get together, it's about mom, etc...) If that makes me rude, so effing be it.

@ ANINHAS, for me, it depends on how close to the person I am. My mom and my best friend never need to leave messages -- I'll just call back as soon as I can.

But, with a name that starts with A, I'm often the first name in peoples' phones. If I have a missed call from someone I don't hear from very often and there's no message, I assume that the call was an accident. If someone notices that they've butt-dialed you, they just hang up.

Once I've dialled someone's number and they've failed to answer and their voicemail has kicked in, I've been charged for the first minute - if I then hang up and text them instead, I'm paying twice. Plus I can be looking where I'm going while I quickly leave a voicemail. Not so with texting. If you don't want people to leave you voice messages, switch off the voicemail function on your account; then at least your friends won't get charged for a call when you don't pick up.

I HAAATE voice mails. 99% of the time I get them they turn out to be a complete waste of my time. I don't even bother checking them anymore since I have yet to EVER receive one even slightly relevant voicemail. I go through it once a month or so to clear it out but thats about it.

No, no, no. Not if you have a professional career -no offense Apartment Therapy. Even if it is a social call, in some networking circles you must appeal to an older age range or people with a more sophisticated background because they are the senior partners. So for all you kids getting out in the workforce, have a police voicemail message and leave a nice voicemail if you would like to grab a martini with you new friend who just so happens to be up in the ranks...

Goggle Voice transcriptions can be a nightmare if the caller has an accent. They are just scrambled.

Many of the posts on this thread exemplify the entitled, judgmental attitudes that have good manners and any notion that it is OK for people to be different. And the post itself is idiotic.

Once again, AT has become Women's Day/Good Housekeeping,, not a design blog, and the members of its "community" are obsessed with germs, how to hang toilet paper, toilet seats up or down, and now, loathing voicemail. Ugh!

This is ridiculous. Checking voicemails is a massive chore now? Turn off the voicemail option on your phone, then.

For the record, I mostly text and very rarely leave voicemails. But to say that voicemails are rude, or outdated, is just silly. Every form of communication has its place.

I couldn't agree with this post more. If it's a number I don't recognise, then I check the voicemail immediately. If I do, then I usually do a routine delete of everything without checking them when my voicemail box fills up about once every two weeks. I absolutely despise voice mail. My outgoing message says 'don't leave a message, please email or text if it's important', and I'll call people back if I see their number on caller ID.

Now I'm wondering how many of the voice mail people are shoes inside the house people, because we all seem to be just as divided on this matter.

all moms need to read this post

don't leave voicemail when you're angry, tired or rushed.

i don't make any calls or texts from my mobile. it's purely for people to locate me and they can pay the charges. thanks to the school system of incorporating online education sites PLUS written homework we HAD to sign up for landline phone + internet. as if parents don't have enough to do at home! on our first week with the landline phone we had two telemarketers call us + one wrong number. i've signed up for hide my number, do not call register + disabled voicemail.

i believe, if it's important the person calling my mobile will try my landline, and vice versa. i'm sick of people leaving voicemail where all i hear is strange muffling sounds or hang ups. i mean, why bother?

Boy am I glad I don't have to navigate the awfulness of American cell phone plans.

SMS being an option?
Caller ID being an option?
CDMA phones that can't have an open line and access internet at the same time?
Telco's that are obsessed with exclusive phones and carrier branding them.

I'm glad I live in a country that took up mobile phones in the first place, and didn't go down the pager path for years.

I personally don't have texting available on my phone (never saw the need), and I get enough wrong numbers that unless its a phone number I recognize (family/work) or am expecting a callback, I'll ignore an incoming call and only return calls if there's a voicemail. For little bits of information (dinner plans/etc), I'll email about it to the family since we all have smartphones and none of us have text plans, and it works out that way.

I'm with care_bear....you guys sound like old fuddy duddies...sorry.
Voicemail from anyone other than my parents is annoying.

Demanding that other people use technology in the exact same way you do is just self-centered. Yes, different age groups tend to use phones and technology differently, but that does not mean that other methods are rude. I for one get annoyed when I leave a message that outlines all the information I needed to convey - perhaps even thankful my friend didn't pick up so the call could be kept brief - only to have my friend call me back without listening to the message first. If they bothered, they wouldn't bother to call me. Happens all the time. Also wrong numbers or accidental calls happen all the time too - if you don't leave me a msg I will just assume it was a misdial or mistake. If you really hate checking your voicemail - you should have your outgoing message say that rather than presuming others should read your mind.

Agree thedanman, I'm shocked that texts can be extra too - and are they really extra to receive? Incidentally, texting is about more than just leaving a message, it's a different way of communicating. I do leave voicemails, and send emails, but sometimes a text is the most appropriate way to go. Yesterday my mother (aged 66) texted me to let me know how she got on at the dentist. Not worth a phone call, especially as I was at work, but perfect text material.

Yes, it is $0.20 to $0.30 to receive texts if they aren't on your plan. I only added them this fall. And I use them, but before that I found them silly since I am on every social media service it's possible to be on and there are plenty of other ways people have to contact me quickly. And I do find people text idiotically. "K I'm 10 minutes from the restaurant. I'm 5 minutes away. I'm on the street. I'm outside the door. Here I am!" 5 texts. Really? I was fine just waiting the 10 minutes.

I'm also on board with the Don't Leave Voicemails people. I used to yell at my husband for leaving a voicemail every time he left work. Which I would check at the end of the week and have "Hi, it's me, I'm coming home", "Hi, it's me, I'm coming home," "Hi, it's me..."

Don't leave a voice mail? This is ignorant and impersonal.

I agree that I don't like and don't leave voice mail that just says "call me back". Always leave a reason in the message. If you don't want to receive voice mail then sign up for vm-to-text.

Also, if I leave you a voice mail and you respond by text then I will think you are rude and are too self-important to have a personal conversation with me.

Also, if I call you and you don't answer, don't send me a text 2 seconds later saying "Hey. What's up?". If you're busy, wait until you're not and then call me back. If it's really that urgent then I will call, text, and email you.

Please don't sacrifice common courtesy for convenience. Your personal relationships will flourish.

People I know never listen to their voicemail. I leave a message because I have information I need to relay to them, I never just say "call me back" or "I'm sending you an email". They call back because they see that I called, and say "Did you call me?" because they can't be bothered to press 1 and enter their voicemail password, even though they can see that I left a message, so I have to repeat everything I said on the voicemail.

I'm weird. While I rarely actually check my voice mails, I will also rarely call someone back if they haven't left one. The times I check voice mail are usually when I don't recognize the number. But if no voice mail is left, I just assume it wasn't all that important...or else they are going to send me a text to follow up.

I like getting a voice mail when a caller leaves a real message. Even if just to chat, saying you will call back, and roughly when, means I am likely to be around.
Texting on the old, as in OLD cell is terrible. Every one gets a canned message along the lines of 'sorry to miss you' or 'hi ho there'. Really seldom turn it on so don't text me, I may not know for days. and i get charged to actually see the message. Cell does not work inside my house, an unintended Faraday cage by construction.
On the up side I don't have to wear that Al foil hat any more.

Listen, I am 30 years old. I don't think that is OLD. But this issue is just one of many in regards to how things are chaining in the way we all interact. Many people would rather never express emotions directly (in this case speaking) while they have the option of texting. There is a ripple effect. It isn't just leaving voicemails, but people no longer know how to answer a phone. They don't know how to greet or speak to people in person. Unless many people have an electronic interface...they don't know how to be social.

I never check my voicemail either, however, I have a friend who will not return a call unless the caller leaves a message.

I am one of those persons who only uses my cell phone for emergencies, quick calls because I am running late, or long distance calls. I usually have my cell turned off unless I need to use it. A lot of places that I go require that cells be turned off. My cell phone is for my convenience, not the convenience of everyone else.

I still have a land line, which is cheaper than my cell phone, and I have a pay-as-you-go plan. Texting costs me .20 per message, even for received messages. So, I agree on why people get angry when you start texting without permission. ALWAYS ask first. I don't use texting because I don't need it. So, if someone sends me a text, I also would not see it until a week later. Why would I need to text back and forth about anything, including trivial topics. I only give my cell phone number to people I am closer to. People whom I have contact with, but on a secondary level, I give my home phone number, if it is even necessary at that. If someone calls me and leaves a message, I prefer that they call my home phone and not my cell. It is much easier to check my messages on the home phone, only one button to push. I can also skip a message more easily on the answering machine at home. On my cell, it is greater headache to push a bunch of buttons, for texting and voice messages. And the reception is much clearer than on a cell phone.

As far as messaging is concerned, you need to use some common sense about knowing when to call someone's cell or home phone. If it is to leave a message that can really wait until later, call the home phone. if you are calling to see if someone is available, would they want to go somewhere at the spur of the moment. My mom and aunt have my cell phone number, and they were persisting on call my cell vs land line because they believed that they would get a hold of me quicker which is not the case, because, I turn it off if I am at work, driving, or out to dinner or shopping, etc. If I am home, it would make more sense to call my home phone. I have told my mom and aunt repeatedly to call my home phone first and not depend on my cell phone, because it's for my convenience, not theirs. I think that the main reason they were constantly calling my cell and not my home phone is because they wanted to kind of track where I am, which it is not always their business what I am doing. What's ironic is, that even though they have cells, neither of them use their voice mail or texting.

I think that it is dumbest thing that I have heard that the latest thing is don't leave a message. If you aren't going to leave a message, then don't call at all! I get annoyed when the same person keeps calling but never leaves a message. I briefly dated a guy who behaved that way. He would call almost every half over, but never leave a message. Needless to say, I got rid of him. Callers should leave a message when they call. For me, depending on who is calling, if someone called me and said "Just call me back.", it may be all right if it is my best friend, but if it is someone I am not particularly close to, then it is better to leave a message. It is especially important to leave a message if you want to ask the person something. If someone called me, and wanted a favor from me, he needs to say it in the message, so that I am not caught off guard if I call the caller back.

Be mindful that not all people are on the same band wagon with text messaging being the ONLY way. That just isn't so. If you don't want to burn your bridges with people, listen to them when they state how they feel about texting, cells, e-mail, home phone. If you want to keep someone in your company, then be mindful about you contact them. if he/she does not bother with texting or cell phone messages, then call the home phone if you were requested to. If you are on a committee, let's say at church, and there is a monthly schedule, find out if your members have a computer and an e-mail address. For things like schedules or lists, e-mail is the best way to communicate it-unless you were to use snail mail, which a lot of people use. My mom and aunt have never touched a computer and have no interest in doing so. For anything professional, I would recommend e-mail, and a phone with good reception. A lot of cell phones have lousy reception. I can always tell when someone is talking to me on their cell and not a land line. If your phone has poor reception and you are looking a for a job, the opportunity will probably go to someone else.