I'd rather have one person LOVE something than have two people feel MEH about something

Well, at least you both agree that leaving a towel hanging on the french door in the living room is acceptable, even for a photograph to be published on a home decor website.

while I used to joke that my mister would be stoked about a recliner, TV and cardboard box...its just not true. HA! We have 3 little girls and recently had to downsize due to my husband's job promotion. So now, its all about needs vs. wants for the most part.

We want a space that is family friendly but not kid trashed...and we also wanted a change in lifestyle with less "toys" and more objects that we all could engage in. For example, our dining room has one big long table, chairs & a bookshelf with a bar area on top. Thats it for now. & while some may find it boring..we eat dinner there each night & have a sunday "taco" dinner which is SO fun & we all get way too excited over, I am sure. Did I mention we eat too much, also?! We allow the kids, ourselves & our guests to take a sharpie to the table top & sign it, doodle, you name it...its SO fun & a great tradition in our home now. When the table has worn out its welcome, we will dismount it from the legs & hang the signed top in our dining room as a piece of art.

So I think in finding the essential needs for your rooms and home, that you then find compromise, creativity and sometimes just what you were looking for. Instead of otherwise coveting another's design or home.

Mostly we both have to agree on any important design choice. Often I'm the one who cares the most about design choices, so I give him a number of choices which are all OK with me and he gets to choose the one he prefers. Like which of 3 or 4 shades of greenish -grey paint.

Other times I'll try to figure out what is so important to him about something he loves and I hate and we'll try to find a way that works for both of us to get those needs met - say substituting an equally comfortable chair for one that's hideous, but comfortable.

There are times when something is really important to one of us and the other one loathes it and substitutes don't work. Then, we figure out a way that both of us can feel OK about it. That is likely to be a tit for tat -- you get the hideous chair, but I get a sparkly chandelier. But sometimes, either of us will agree to something that's really important to to the other, despite our own objections, just because it matters more to one of us. This really only works in the long run, because both of us are willing to give way about the same amount of time.

Your home is about all of the people who live there and they should all feel represented in the space.

I love your post AIRGREENWOOD, especially your last two sentences. Maybe having children forces you to search for that perfect combination of functionality and pleasantness. I know that feeling overwhelmed by baby gear/ toys led us to go through all of our belongings and purge a ton, and really think about how we were living.

This has been really difficult for me and my partner. He likes traditional and I like modern and vintage furniture. He moved into my house and I want it to feel like home for him. He pretty much says, "I guess it's alright" to almost every piece of furniture I suggest. Every once in a great while we find something that we both like and then the struggling is worth it. I decided that we shouldn't bring anything into the house unless we're both in love with it.

I do all the accessorizing, though. :)

"Well, at least you both agree that leaving a towel hanging on the french door in the living room is acceptable, even for a photograph to be published on a home decor website."

Eliz must be PMS-ing this week. I think it looks quite lived in and normal to throw your towel over the bedroom door when in a hurry (yes, there is a bedroom back there.)

I seriously, JUST, posted about getting guys involved in home design. I let my husband peruse my pinterest page when he's up for it and pin things he loves in a board dedicated to him. I get to learn more about his style and he doesn't have to worry about me shoving paint samples down his throat! LOL. Check it out!

http://twolivecolorfully.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/lets-hear-it-for-the-boys/

I just redecorate everytime my husband goes off to the dig. He's gone for a couple months, so I have plenty of time to change everything. And by the time he gets back he's so happy to have running water that he couldn't care less that I painted all the furniture turquoise.

Being a designer myself, my partner has reserved himself going along with whatever happens to happen around our abode. That being said, he does have the power of the veto (though he can only use it sporadically). Sometimes, even my own design sensibilities can get a little crazy and it is at that point he steps in and really makes me think twice.

There is only one known overturned veto in our house - a violet bathroom. It happened. Accidentally. Or so I say.

I pretty much make all the design decisions. My husband says he doesn't care although every now and then he makes comments that make me think otherwise, but overall, I think he's happy I make our house a home and do so without it looking like a garden threw up in our space. (Not that there is anything wrong with floral prints on furniture, just not our thing.)

The only thing I have said I will NEVER have in our home (and this was laid out before we got married) is that I refuse to have any type of big, oversized Lazy Boy type of recliner, "man" chair in our space... I just can't handle it. There are plenty of comfortable, affordable options that are well designed out there. I am not opposed to a well broken in vintage piece that has character, but I just can't get into the "SUV of chairs" that is the Lazy Boy recliner.

well like anything in a relationship, its all about compromise and give/take. we always decide on major purchases together and overall how things are going to look.

In some circumstances things are a bit more weighted towards one person - I do most of the cooking and dishes so I have final say about functionality in the kitchen. I also work from home so the office caters a bit more towards me too since i spend 8-10 waking hours in there every day.
My partners favorite place to unwind is the bedroom and so he has made a lot of the choices in there. He also has to rush out the door in the morning so the bathroom and closet cater a bit more toward him getting ready efficiently since most days I just put on a pair of PJs for work i let him have the prime real estate and final say on functionality there.

I think my husband I both just let the other have something if the LOVE it. You work into what you are doing and the end space looks like a piece of the both of you. I imagine with roommates you feel less sentimental about your space reflecting both of you but for us it works.

Due to the way I'd moved around (country to country/ apartment to apartment) I seemed to always be living with other people's furniture and "design" choices, whether it was roommates or my ex. Now I'm finally living on my own, this is the first time I've had a space that feels like *I* actually live here. I'm not sure how easy I'm going to find compromise when that changes again.

I just moved into an unfurnished rental house with two male roommates. They're both programmers, so I expected to be able to make most of the design decisions around the house. I quickly discovered that one was happy with everything I did and the other... he wanted to be a part of every single decision: couches & tables (understandable), lighting, rugs, and even the tiny things like curtain rods, throw pillows, art, shelves, etc. I can no longer craigslist for fun items because he insists that everything be new (and preferably from Ikea - even the art). No choice can be made without a discussion.

So far I've been pretty good at pleading my case and was lucky enough that I already owned a lot of furniture before the move, but it is difficult to make decisions knowing that sometimes a person won't like it simply because they weren't involved in the choice.

I pick everything. But I do it to save my husband from himself. You should have seen the couch he bought before we were married.

Wow, am I like the only one who goes out of their way to make sure both parties tastes are involved? My wife and I both have pretty strong tastes, and I don't think either of us would feel really at home if one of us did all the decorating.

We started with coming up with a list of adjectives we wanted each room to embody. Then we each picked the one most important adjective on our list for each room, then together selected one other word to describe how we wanted the room to be (we lucked out, and had some overlap on our lists). So for example, she wanted a bedroom that was dark and moody, and I wanted one that was sexy, and we both wanted to make sure it was really organized, so we would keep it clean. For the livingroom she wanted something quirky or whimsical, and I wanted something colorful. We both wanted our livingroom to be good for entertaining large groups. After that, it became easier to make decisions. Now I know that I only pursue items that fit in with those three adjectives for each room. Now we are both clear on the mood we both want, balancing my love of Victorian and her love of modern stops being the issue.

Absolutely no big gross lazy boy recliner. We have some pretty ugly stuff that my husbands father made and I wouldn't trade it for all the designer furniture in the world.

My boyfriend and I generally agree on decorating, but the big difference is that he likes a lot more stuff on the walls than I do. To me, it gets a bit cluttered, but that's okay because I have my sewing room/office that I can retreat to. I also get the sense that it's really important to him to make this house a home. The house that he bought with his ex (and sold to buy this one) was a fixer-upper that they had all kinds of plans for, but somehow it never got fixed up; it was a place they lived, but never really a home. So it's important to him to put his stamp on this house and make it ours (and he never puts anything up without consulting me).

If I ever disagree with a girlfriend I always thought it might be fun to cut the room in half with a big black line and design our own sides to our own exact tastes...

Whoever cleans the most gets to decide on decor. So I win and everyone is happy. Why caretake something you don't love or didn't create ? Tip: never ask your family questions like "what color should I paint the kitchen ?" My family likes every choice I've made -- all inspired by AT house tours. Seriously.

my spouse loves super modern, clean sleek line and minimalism while I like more luxe traditional inspired design. Luckily we live in a victorian where super modern wouldn't look good. We both agreed to some hard design limits, no florals, not bric a brac and timeless pieces whether they are from 1850 or 1950 or the present. When it come to colors i usually am the one to collect the samples and she gives it the green light.

compromise. with vetoes for things you couldn't stand to see every day and a few "I really really love this" (as long as it doesn't conflict with rule #1) for each of you!

I have free rein for the most part, but no major decision is made without my husband's input. For our new place, I selected the general paint colors; he was doubtful so I showed him pictures of rooms with similar color schemes and he was sold. We grabbed a bunch of paint chips and he picked what ended up being the final colors. It's a work in progress, but that's how it works for most things -- I have an idea, get him on board, and then we make choices together.

I'm lucky to be at home a lot, so my husband lets me do the scouting: paint, palettes, furnitures on the French equivalent of Craigslist. In the end, I end up with a few suggestions, backed up by photos, and he tells me what he thinks. We then make the room's layout together: we are both focused on practicality, and tend to use the word "ergonomic" a lot...

We found out that it is better to wait for both of us to be enthusiast ( or at least happy) about a design choice. If we're not, we wait. It took a year to find a couch for the game room, and about three weeks of scouting to change our plates with a model we both loved and that was in our budget.

If you're willing to wait, and sometimes wait for a long time, I still believe you can find a design solution that both partners love ! Call me an idealist.

trisho - i also try to save my fiance from himself. 17 years on, his university friends still talk about his first day on campus. since we've met, they think he works for a men's fashion magazine. i'm no fashionista or stylist, he just had no idea.

kassgood - my sentiments exactly

all decisions are mine as i spend 80% of my day - everyday - at home. my fiance was upset that i made most decorating decisions, so against my better judgement i allowed him to choose our couches. three years later and he JUST realised the fabric is not child-friendly, the edges are too hard even for adults AND the color reminds him of baby poo.

@KateBrindle: Actually, no, I'm snarky all the time. What's your excuse for being a total jerk? Before you make your first ever comment on a website, you might want to (a) mentally check yourself so as not to violate that site's rule against personal attacks, and (b) update your references from weak-ass early 90s hack stand-up comic material.

This is, after all, the same website where commenters discuss the fact that if they are in the home of someone who hangs their toilet paper the "wrong" way, the commenters turn it around. And heated exchanges are had about whether it's gross to place actual garbage in your kitchen garbage can, or to wear shoes in your house. An opinion about whether dirty towels should be featured in a published photograph is nowhere even close to the nitpickiest stuff.

Sure, I could have phrased it differently -- maybe a Catalog Living style "Gary, I know my use of 'lips' and 'lie' is too much for you to keep up with, but throwing in the towel metaphorically is sufficient." But I didn't, and I remain confident that the way I did phrase it did not warrant a personal attack.

@ELIZ: LOL! You channeled Elaine quite well! And for the record, I agree about the towel. It seems out of place and doesn't relate to the post's content. Unless that's the BF's "contribution" to home decor...

The towel is atrocious(must be my impending period that makes me dislike it so).