5 Ways to Keep the Peace in the Bedroom

5 Ways to Keep the Peace in the Bedroom

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Carolyn Purnell
Feb 18, 2015

One of the joys of living with the person you love is that you get to go to bed with him or her every night. But one of the worst parts of living with the person you love can also be that you get to go to bed with him or her every night. If the bedroom has become a place of frustration instead of one of peace, here are five suggestions that might help you restore the balance.

1. Sleep with a Cover-Tugger?

Use two blankets! It looks a little weird when you make the bed, but trust me, it keeps you from getting cold in the middle of the night, and it saves you from nightly tug-of-war sessions. Want some inspiration? Check out this post on using two duvets.

2. On different sleep schedules?

If you tend to go to bed earlier than your partner, consider using an eye mask so that their reading light won't bug you or earplugs so their stumbling around won't rouse you. If you tend to wake up earlier than your partner, consider using an alarm that won't be harsh on the other person—no more shrill beeps and squeals! Light-generating alarms are more subtle, or, you may consider keeping your alarm to yourself by waking to a vibrating bracelet. A friend of mine uses her Fitbit as a vibrating alarm so that it wakes only her.

3. Live with an REM-kickboxer?

There's nothing quite like waking up to a swift kick in the night. You can't be angry, but you also generally can't prevent your partner from his or her Jackie Chan dreams. I would suggest putting a long body pillow between you and your partner, which will cushion the nighttime blows and, hopefully, will let you sleep through the night. If that doesn't work, there's no shame in getting a bigger bed.

4. Kept awake by a partner who saws logs nightly?

One basic way to adjust to sleeping with a snorer is to try to reorient your perspective. Try not to think of it as an annoying sound; instead focus on it as a repetitive sound, much like white noise, and be mindful of the fact that it's made by someone you love. Keeping yourself calm will help you drift off to sleep more easily. Some cases, though, are too extreme for a simple attitude adjustment to do the trick. If this is your situation, you might consider investing in a white noise machine or some sleep headphones, so you can drown out the snores with gentle music.

5. Trouble sleeping & don't want to disturb your partner?

Sometimes, if you're having trouble sleeping, it's tempting to read a book, look at your iPad, or distract yourself with other means, but if you share a room, it can be difficult to lull yourself to sleep without waking up your partner. Obviously, you can get up and do those things in another room, drink warm milk, and all the other solutions, but if you start to drift off in the living room, sometimes the walk back to the bedroom will wake you up again. If you have a hard time sleeping, I would suggest taking some pre-emptive action. Institute a pre-bedtime routine that will help you relax. 30 minutes or an hour before you get into bed, do some deep breathing, some restful yoga, some meditation exercises, drink herbal tea, spritz your bedroom with lavender or other calming scents, or perform any other activity that helps you calm down. That way, you're already sleepy by the time your head hits the pillow.

What are your solutions to your nighttime woes?

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