For many of us, we step into our homes to find upaid bills, hungry children or restless pets, a house in disarray, and an overwhelming stack of tasks that scream, I Will Not Go Away Until You Finish Me. But we all need time to unplug from our week, to retreat from the stimulation of our busy lives, and to rest in the cozy solitude of our homes.
As the lovely Jane Austen said, "There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort."
Is your home a cozy retreat? Or is it just another place where you complete task after task after whoopsihavetwozillionmoretasks? Do you spend most of your time at home doing dishes, cleaning up, finishing up work from the office, studying, doing laundry or watching TV? Do you take regular time to unplug at home?
Barbara J. Semple, self-healing activist and best selling author of Instant Healing - Accessing Creative Intelligence for Healing Body and Soul, says that self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity. If you don't take time to fill your own cup, you'll have nothing left for family, your home, your pets, or your job.
Many of us feel guilty for taking time out for ourselves, when so many other things call for our attention. But taking good care of your self re-energizes you for all of the other work that you have to do at home (caring for friends and family, household chores, and creating a home that serves you best).
Consider making a regular, weekly unplug appointment at home. Treat it like a real appointment and do not schedule anything else at that time! (For tips on how to find the time, see 10 Simple Ways to Carve More Time Into Your Day). If you find yourself saying "but I don't have time!" start to question that inner voice. Self-care is not selfish or indulgent — it is important for your physical and mental health.
Here are few tips for a weekly unplug appointment at home:
1. Unplug completely from all of your devices. Turn off your phone, power down the computer, and turn the TV off.
2. Make this time for you and you alone. Send your housemates out or escape to your room for an hour. You can even put a neon sign on your door that says: Human Suffocating Boa Constrictor Inside, Enter at Your Own Risk. Defer guests, visitors and chores to another time. (One exception to this rule: pets are allowed, in fact encouraged! A snuggle with your feline or canine friend will only enhance your decompressed state of bliss.)
3. Make a list of things that make you calm and happy. Pick a few, and do at least one of those for an hour every week.
4. For at least one hour, do something that completely relaxes you: read a book without interruption, drink some tea and ponder the universe, paint, draw, write, take a bath, soak your feet, or just do absolutely nothing. Let it be comforting and stimulation-free. (No iCheating!)
5. Afterwards, write three adjectives to describe the experience. Having a short but very simple homework assignment like this will keep you on task and make you more likely to follow through. It will also help you see how beneficial taking this time at home on a regular basis can be. You might find yourself writing things like: amazing, peaceful, or ohmygoodnesswhydontidothismoreoften?
Well, why don't you?
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Love this article. I do all of these things daily. I am worth it.
I'm only allowed to read for an hour a week????? (Just kidding)
I know this is an activity that is outside of your home, but taking your favorite canine friend for a walk can be great me time - no phone, no TV, no kids, the chores will be completely out of sight and mind, plus you have health benefits from the exercise and the fresh air.
Excellent.
I have a cow-kitty just like yours and he is the best.
This is a good article - simple ways to enjoy alone time at home. I'm not one of those people, however, who feels guilty taking "me time". It's my life, and I only get to live it once. I might as well enjoy it.
I second taking a walk. At home, everywhere I look, I see another task, so I have to really focus and center to relax at home at all --- and then relaxing becomes a task.
Love this! Except radd on to "canine or feline" with et all for us non dog/cat peeps. But yes, my fat little cockatiel with her potbelly self brings me peace!
Good tips, even the "homework."
However, about the pets. This is me trying to relax on the screened porch for an hour to read.
Meowing at the door. Get up to let cat on porch. Sit back down, find place in book, start reading again. Meowing at my feet. Get up to let cat back into house, sit down, start reading. Meowing at door. Get up. Sit down. More meowing. Let cat back into house. Sit down. Meowing at the door. Get up, let cat on porch. Sit down. Get up to remove cat from screen where she has launched herself at neighboring free range kitty. Let cat back inside. Head for bathroom to clean and disinfect scratches received while removing cat from screen. Put on bandaids. Admit defeat and start cooking dinner.
@ Xarcady: ha! I think in your case the pet is less of the destressing snuggle partner and more in the "screaming child" category!
@ KD_Muse: Hear hear. I actually get grief on occasion (ah, older sisters) for doing things like having a no-plans weekend day, or sleeping in, or, you know, not "accomplishing" anything.
I always do my best to quietly defend myself, much in the way that you said: it's MY life. It's MY time. I also try to encourage those who feel like time peacefully spent quietly & alone is "wasted" to try it themselves and see how much richer life can be. Such a sad view of the world, that quiet/alone/downtime is seen as a waste.
I just really couldn't agree more with this article. When I get home, sometimes i have anxiety...dishes to be done, supper to be made, a toddler to feed and bath, homework...etc! Sometimes I just say FORGET IT!, and I go to Walmart, or watch something on netflix. The problem is that I've been saying "FORGET IT" a lot more lately :-).
RyBeans Mama, I would never think going to Walmart would be relaxing. Walmart puts me in a bad mood, at least the ones in my area.
I crave and take alone time daily. "Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing."--Lao Tzu
I too avoid Walmart. Life is too short to shop there. Blech.
Love this... Also I LOVE that Phil Frost painting in the picture ;)
Where is that couch from?
LOL about some of the fellow pet owners' comments. I'd relax and read more like in the old days, but I've somehow managed to instill a habit in my girlcat (also a cow-cat), who, when she sees me sitting on the loveseat, "knows" that that is prime "smooching time," and that she can and curl up on the cushion/armrest next to me, where I forfeit a book-holding hand to support her and stroke her and compliment her while holding her in her awkward but blissful curled up state of purring bliss.
Ah, to live the life of a doted-on cat or other pet. Now THAT might be the true stress-free life.
Ha! Some of your comments about Walmart are funny, you sound like my husband! :-). Shopping for me is relaxing (when I have money)...so I can usually just tune everybody out and just wander the aisles.
This is why it's important to have a hobby. Keeps you sane and makes you more interesting. May stave off dementia as you get older because you're using your brain. Gardening, knitting, woodworking all count. Take a class and learn a new skill. Wander around your library and find books on different topics that speak to you.
I LOVE having oxytocin time with my dog every day. It's good for both of us!
The last time I was in Walmart (I HAD to look there just so I could say I'd "checked everywhere" for a particular item), two female employees, standing about 15 yards apart across the women's department, were shrilly yelling back and forth having some inane conversation at the top of their lungs. Who does that? It was whatever the opposite of relaxing is, and I could not leave fast enough.
Walmart?!! 2 reasons to go: punishment or insomnia. Great ideas, everyone. Posting as a fellow kitty lover, they're in ur lives to reduce stress, not the opposite. Also, as a Veterinary Nurse I'll spare u the lecture on the health risks in obese cats. Sure you've heard them all before. Get creative with their environments. Maybe an outdoor,screened-in area just for ur cat, one only he can navigate. People are often surprised how well cats respond to harnesses. If u enjoy reading there are tons of cat Behaviorists who've written great books on simple solutions. ....Relax.
I think Luciana and I were depressed.
We hadn't exercised in months. We were starting to wonder how our 6-weeks of overdoing it commitments in our new jobs was going on 16. No exercise meant restless sleep and light appetite. Restless sleep and stress meant knotted shoulders and backs. This led to distraction at work and crippled performance, causing more stress. It was bad.
We discovered massage. Every night we shut down by 10:00. We set up a massage table we got on Amazon. We mix massage oil with aromatic essential oil, like Eucalyptus. And we massage each other for an hour.
It was a huge breakthrough for us. We look forward to the end of each day. We heal our tension. We touch each other, leading to more intimacy. It seems to bring out and help resolve negative feelings. It puts a psychological limit on work. It's fantastic.
Love the idea, but please don't even joke about "Human Suffocating Boa Constrictor Inside." Many of us in the reptile community have to fight against these falsehoods every day and even joking about it can hurt us. I love a lot of the suggestions here on AT and use them in our little home, but the US government is making a lot of snakes illegal to own using loopholes in the legal system and joking about something this makes light of a quiet problem reptile owners cannot get into the public eye because of these same jokes. Please reconsider your words, because they have come for the snakes now and my little geckos could be next - Thanks!
LOVE this article. I keep it in my email and reread it often. Such a great & simple reminder that me-time is an important part of health, not selfish desire.
I take the mail to work. Pay the bills there, sort through the rest, shred what needs to be shredded. I also find that the more time the family spends outside (including pets), the cleaner the house is at the end of the day. That seems to be a benefit all around.
cute :D