*Ok, actually, one man.
You may have noticed the asterisk in the title. That is because I felt the need to commence this by stating that "men" for the purpose of this article refers specifically to my male S.O. Your S.O. (or brother, or father, or you, if you are a man) may be more in tune with decor sensibilities, so please take the blanket statement with a pinch of salt.
Before I get into the nitty gritty, though, let me say that I'm very lucky. My S.O., a budding architect with minimalist tendencies, has little to say about how we decorate our home (by choice, not by commandment). If it's a big purchase, we thoroughly discuss the item at hand, but for little decorative items here and there, he "trusts" my decor aesthetic and I run wild and free with what I add to our apartment. However, every now and then, when he stumbles upon an oversized magnifying glass placed just so on a side table or plops onto the sofa into a dream-like cloud of pillows (my words, not his), his face turns pensive, almost as if he's not sure what he's encountering. "Do you have teeny tiny books that you need to read with this gargantuan magnifying glass?" he'll ask. "No, it's decorative and whimsical!" I'll utter.
Alas, here, I present you with the 10 things in my shared home that make my beau say "hmm?" (with actual quotes about said things.)
"Are you having a seance?"
I own a lot of candles that I burn regularly. In fact, there are four burning around me as I write this. My S.O. does not understand this. To him, one candle burning one scent is acceptable, but half a dozen in a plethora of fragrances is something beyond his comprehension.
Decorative Throw Pillows
"That shopping bag better not have more throw pillows in it."
If I could put this one on the list twice, I would. In fact, this article is henceforth entitled "11 Things Men* Don't Understand About Home Decor." I may or may not frequent home decor shops and show up back home with bags in hand of goodies. The first thing out of bae's mouth when he hears me clopping up the stairs? See above. My side of the sofa currently contains six throw pillows; his? Zero. And he likes it that way.
"Why do you need a giant brass paper clip?"
Hello my name is Arlyn, and I have an addiction to weird decorative objects. My collection of metallic fruits? He doesn't get it. My totally awesome 10-inch-long brass paperclip I found at a thrift store for $1 that's currently sitting on my bookshelf? Doesn't get that either. It's pretty, okay? And that's all I'm going to say about it.
"But you don't read them, so what's the point?"
This one probably annoys far more people than just my S.O., but I thoroughly believe coffee table books, particularly of the design and art variety, should be used everywhere, though I confess...I don't actually read them often. They are the perfect styling vehicle for my objets d'art! In my living room alone, I have 23. Twenty-three instances for which my beau to wonder what the point of it all is.
Tiny Ring Dishes/Bowls
"Why not get a bigger tray that fits more? This is pointless."
When I got engaged ::cough three years ago :, I was gifted with many a ring dish. There's a pretty turquoise heart dish on my nightstand, a minty green one with the word "Mrs" in gold script by my kitchen sink, one randomly placed for no apparent reason on the second tier of my coffee table (honestly, I have no idea why it's there). There may also be others strewn about, but for each and every one of these teeny tiny bowls that hold barely an engagement ring, my S.O. wonders why such a seemingly useless, single-purpose item exists to begin with.
A Plethora of Pretty Mugs
"But you can only drink out of one mug at a time."
If you haven't gathered by now, I like "things." My decor-loving heart beats for collections. Open my drink cupboard and you can count a total of 17 mugs of all shapes, patterns and sizes. This is a single coffee-drinker household (he's more of a tea man), I rarely have 16 guests in need of caffeine at once, so why so many mugs? Because, as I much as I like "things," I also really love "options."
"Didn't you get ornaments last year?"
Want to know how to be a complete grinch and steal the Christmas joy out of a design lovers soul? Ask them the above question when they excitedly say "Oh, I can't wait to stock up for the holidays!" upon seeing a huge display of ornaments, lights, wreathes, and tree toppers galore during a routine weekend trip to Costco.
"If you already have curtains, why do you need pointless see-through curtains?"
Because, darling, I like for sunlight to delicately stream in, washing the room with soft beams like a fairytale, that's why.
"Since when is one rug not enough anymore?"
There comes a time in every decor-lovers life when they stumble upon a pulse-racingly beautiful rug that they can only afford in a too-small-for-the-room 5x8, so it must be layered over a much larger and far more budget friendly sisal rug. True story.
"I don't have a problem with lighting, just lamps that never get used."
So what if I have three lamps currently sitting in a corner of my living room without shades, unused? They're waiting for a home that I will one day find for them! The one in the foyer that isn't even plugged into the wall because there isn't a nearby outlet? I'll do what I want, because it's mirrored and oh so pretty!