Love it or hate it, Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle magazine Goop has become a cultural talking point — and its "Ridiculous, But Awesome Gift Guide" for the 2017 holiday season is full of luxury nonsense worth talking about.
As the Hollywood Reporter notes this week, "Since its inception a few years back, the Goop Gift Guide has become a parody of itself, owning its reputation for comically absurd gifts a la $8,300 yurts or $15,000 solid gold dildos."
From luxury-end steampunk-looking chocolate cutters that can help you share your Reese's peanut butter cup four ways (which no one has done, ever) to $16,500 personal home float spas and an entire $6 million private island in Belize, this year's Goop gift guide does not disappoint on the comedy relief front. (But Santa, if you're listening and want to show up with that $14,500 sidecar motorcycle for me and my dogs, I'd legit be 100 percent fine with that — even though everyone on my list this year is actually getting a Cards Against Humanity set or an "adopted" elephant from the World Wildlife Foundation.)
The Private Island
While opportunities to purchase private islands are certainly something we've covered a lot in 2017 — this heart-shaped island and Frank Lloyd Wright house for $15M, this island in Maine with a working farm and helipad for $8M, this 29-acre Scottish isle for $427,000, and even these six lighthouses for sale starting at $10,000 — the real gem is this alternative to Goop's $6M private island in Belize: a private island in Belize that rents for just $395 per night on Airbnb.
The Animal Chair
For our 2013 April Fool's Day feature, senior writer Nancy Mitchell posted this DIY: a classic Bertoia chair covered in stuffed pandas. Pretty sure that post was the actual inspiration for this "price upon request" luxury "flamboyance" chair from APcollection. The DIY version (assuming you already have a chair base) will only cost you $70 for the IKEA pandas.
The Rose Gold Drinkware
Save yourself $2,500 and skip Goop's rose gold trend suggestion of the Moda Operandi "Puiforcat" rose gold champagne tumbler ($2,590 each) in favor of Starbucks new trio of (infinitely 'Grammable) rose gold drinkware instead (at $14.95 to $19.95 each).
The Wooden Canoe
Whether for actual watersports or just rustic cabin-inspired home decor, gifting someone a handcrafted wooden canoe is certainly a grand gesture (or something) — but rather than investing in an $8,000 antique French vessel, try hitting up Sierra Trading Post (the more outdoorsy sister in the TJX family) where we spotted this classic Langford Canoe for less than half that at their brick and mortar grand opening (next to Homesense). If you order directly from the legacy Canadian company, you can even order it painted with a Hudson Bay blanket design.