A Martha Stewart Musical Exists & It’s a Good Thing

Martha Stewart is legendary, and now that status has been officially cemented with her very own musical parody based on her rollercoaster ride to fame and back, that’s being performed later this summer in New York.

“The Rise and Fall (and Rise) of Martha Stewart” is the third and final installment in Ryan Raftery’s trilogy of shows, The Titans of Media. Previously, the actor and playwright staged productions about Anna Wintour and Andy Cohen in 2014 and 2016, respectively.

“What other titan — Andy is a very powerful guy, Anna Wintour is a very powerful woman — is on her level that I could do a show about?” he tells the Cut. “It really didn’t take long to land on America’s favorite purveyor of perfectionism.”

Raftery stars as Stewart, and the the show opens with her saying a tearful goodbye to her chickens as she leaves to report to prison. There are then flashbacks to her childhood in New Jersey to how she became an lifestyle icon, all the way through her current, post convict comeback—including being friends with Snoop Dogg (played by Jerome Bell).

The show is interspersed with twelve musical numbers set to tracks as varied as Beyoncé, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Adele and Metallica, all with parody lyrics from Raftery. At one point, Stewart realizes she can turn her hostessing skills into a business when she’s at a friend’s house for dinner, and it is clearly not up to her exacting standards. Of course, she then bursts into song.

We hope her (totally filthy) roast of Justin Bieber makes the cut. What classic Martha moments would you like to see immortalized on stage?

“The Rise and Fall (and Rise) of Martha Stewart” is at Joe’s Pub in New York on August 7, 22, and 28, and September 11 and 12. Tickets are $35.