An Imagined Life: The King’s Throne

(Image credit: Apartment Therapy)

Every piece of used furniture has a story to tell. We only need to sit back and listen.

I was commissioned for the King. I supported him from the very genesis of his reign until his treacherous end.

My frame was built from the rare Speckled Oak, the very same mighty tree which His Majesty swung from as a boy. My graceful limbs were hand-cut and shaped by the most experienced and artful woodworkers.

My stuffing consists of the softest of goose feathers, the small downy variety that required the plucking of nearly 500 geese.

(Image credit: Apartment Therapy)

My velvet upholstery was woven from the finest silk at the hands of virgins, as the cloth had to remain pure. It was then painstakingly dyed using crushed bramble berries and burdock root in a process that took many days before it achieved the rich, flame-like hue desired by His Highness.

What’s that, squire? You say you’ve seen me before?

Oh, no, you must be mistaken. No, that wasn’t me, I would never…

Yes, fine, OK, that was me! I was on the cover of that program. A high school production…Camelot. Yes, yes, that’s all true! Wipe that smirk from your face! I would hardly say it was just a play! Stop laughing! Those kids worked very hard! They were reviewed in the Tribune, I’ll have you know! Those fine actors embodied royalty; anyone in the theater could feel that. I will not stand here as you diminish our efforts! Nothing you say can rob me of my honor.

For I once held the King, by God!
I held the King!

If you need to fortify your own castle, you can find His Majesty here:

Land of the Lost
614 W. Belmont Ave.
Chicago, IL 60657