An Imagined Life: An Unfortunate DIY
All used items come with a story to tell. We only need to lean in and listen.
Well, this is just great. Whose idea was this anyway? Does a normal person look at a taxidermied mammal and a bottle of beer and think they’d work perfectly together as a…a…?
I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be?! A bookend? A paperweight? This is unbelievable.
There are so many things wrong with this. I mean do you see my tail? It’s obscene! Just because I’m stuffed doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings or a reputation to protect. I highly doubt they’d attempt these shenanigans with a pheasant. Armadillos are just sooo hilarious, aren’t we?
I am absolutely horrified…
Do you even care to know what I find to be the worst part of this whole atrocity? It’s the beer – a Lone Star! I have to spend eternity sniffing the open end of a…a stale brewery. I don’t even drink beer!
I mean they couldn’t have thought up a decent arrangement involving a nice glass of Chianti? Of course not, that composition wouldn’t have been quite so funny. No, that wouldn’t have mortified me nearly enough.
Other Imagined Lives: