Being Comfortable In Someone Else’s Home

published Apr 23, 2009

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Have you ever had this situation? A friend comes over to your house. Maybe you go in the other room to put something away and when you come out, before you’ve even said anything, your friend has made themselves at home; they’re opening a bottle of wine, they’re surfing the net on your computer, they’re rummaging through your DVDs, they’re making playlists on your ITunes. How do you feel when this happens?…

This happened to us the other day with a relatively new friend and, while we were happy that our friend felt so comfortable in our home to make themselves at home, we were also a little startled. We’re used to being the host in our home: offering drinks, deciding on the entertainment, orchestrating the activities. In someone else’s home, we’re the guest: waiting to be invited, on our best behaviour, asking before we open a cabinet or a drawer. And then suddenly, there’s a shift; someone’s been at our home so often (or we’ve spent so much time at theirs) that they’re making themselves at home in our home, we’re making ourselves comfortable in their home. Maybe there’s even a key exchange. A change in the relationship or an indication of how comfortable your home is? How do you feel when someone makes themselves at home in your home? Are there places that are off-limits?

[image: Bah Humbug, with a Creative Commons License]

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