This Is the Best Twitter Account on the Internet and I Will Not Hear Otherwise

updated May 3, 2019
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Twitter is a flawed, maddening, beautiful place that can be pretty taxing sometimes. But there is a beacon in the dark, a lighthouse amongst the hashtag ridden detritus: The US Consumer Product Safety Commision account. Hear me out.

While neither straight up humor or a necessary source for keeping up with our current news cycle, it is nevertheless one of the best accounts on the internet. It’s run by a genius. A genius who just wants to make sure you’re living your life as safely as possible. It doesn’t have to be entertaining, people come there for recall news. And yet it is. For example…

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This handy tip about keeping your cleaning supplies labeled which is also a Backstreet Boys reference.

Everybody. Poison Prevention Week is back again. Our new blog has everything you need to #preventpoison in your home #MondayMotivation

— US Consumer Product Safety Commission (@USCPSC) March 19, 2018

Or this tweet about medication safety that is ALSO a Backstreet Boys reference.

Believe when we say — we want you to lock your medicines in cabinets kids can’t reach #PreventPoison Blog:

— US Consumer Product Safety Commission (@USCPSC) March 19, 2018

The account moves from dry…

There were more than 360,000 home fires in the US in 2017. Put new batteries in your smoke alarms this weekend #SaturdayMorning

— US Consumer Product Safety Commission (@USCPSC) March 10, 2018

To just straight up informative….

46% of all furniture tip-overs happen in the bedroom. If you have a large dresser, bookcase, or tv in yours, installing anti-tip devices should be a no-brainer to keep it kid-friendly. Learn how #AnchorIt

— US Consumer Product Safety Commission (@USCPSC) March 19, 2018

To weird…

The whole account is just a heady mix of earnest information wrapped in what, at first glance, looks like an alt-comedy bow. Someone was charged with making something that’s pretty boring (how many ways can you think of to remind people to change their fire alarm batteries?) and made a masterpiece.

Kudos to you, social media manager of the US Consumer Product Safety Commission! Thanks for keeping us safe AND entertained.