Breakup Shower: Would You Throw One? Would You Want One?

Breakup Shower: Would You Throw One? Would You Want One?

Tess Wilson
Oct 4, 2012

A year ago, I wrote Post-Breakup Apartment Therapy, a post about how to make your home feel like yours after a live-in love moves out. But whether you're the one who stays or moves, there's a good chance you'll find that you're a heartbroken adult who suddenly doesn't own any pots & pans or maybe even any furniture…

Whether your breakup is handled by lawyers, mediators, or just the two of you, it's not unusual to suddenly find yourself without half of your stuff. Breakups can be depressing and difficult enough without also having to deal with a complete lack of kitchen supplies. And so, many people are throwing their friends (or themselves, I suppose) breakup showers. (A couple of weeks ago, The New York Times ran an article entitled "The Unbridled Shower: Celebrating Divorce Not With A Whimper But With A Bang" on the recent trend of "divorce showers". However, since so many people in long-term, committed relationships are either not allowed or not inclined to get married, I think the term "breakup shower" is more appropriate.) This concept has a lot going for it, I think: the shower can serve as a housewarming party (even if you've stayed in the same place), it's a chance to be surrounded by all your friends as they root for you in this new phase of your life, it's an important step towards that new life, and it's a chance for your friends to give gifts to help make your house a home.

I would imagine that a breakup shower would be organized by a best friend who knows whether you are ready for such a party, and what items you need to replace. He or she could create a gift registry or just a list of all the newly-missing items, though of course guests would be welcome to bring (or not bring) anything at all. Though I think of breakup shower gifts mainly in practical terms, a couple examples in "The Unbridled Shower" were more encouraging than practical, such as exquisite lingerie. (However, I cannot BELIEVE that Botox is a common gift.) The best gift I can think of would be a gift certificate for a class. It would allow the recipient to learn a new skill, gain pride and confidence, get out of the house, make new friends, and have something to look forward to.

What do you think? Have any of you had or attended a breakup shower? Was it festive, helpful, healing, fun, depressing, awkward, and/or awesome?

(Image: Emily Ho for The Kitchn)

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