Your New Year’s Cosmic Cleanout: The Perfect Cleaning & Decluttering Plan for Every Zodiac Sign

published Jan 4, 2018
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(Image credit: Ellie Arciaga Lillstrom)

New Year’s perpetually brings on the urge to purge, and with Mercury now out of retrograde and a pack of planets in Queen-of-the-Capsule-Collection, Capricorn, it’s a luminous moment to catch some serious stardust with your Swiffer.

Whether you’re a ferocious Scorpio siren who wants to burn it down to the ground, or a beautifully useful Virgo vixen who’s given to finding divinity in the detail, your astrological sign holds the key to your energetic and spatial cleaning powers. So mix that lemon Pledge with some light-worker know-how, and get ready for an outer and inner space overhaul…

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: As a straight-shooting, simple solutions fire babe, take a day to do your cleaning and go on a hyper focused rampage. Shut off your phone, lock the world out, and hunt your the prey of past purchases down with razor-sharp ravenousness!

What: Stay centered on minimalism and keep the emotional vibes low key. As the first sign of the zodiac, you’re all about fresh and innocent energy. Inject a sense of newness into existing items with a coat of paint or repurposed use, and if this doesn’t fit the bill, get rid of it without a second thought.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: Focus on the sensuality of your items. You may even want to try blindfolding yourself and navigating through touch and smell to see what you truly treasure. When in doubt, ask yourself if it’s something that’s either beautiful or tasty. Nothing less than solid gold and chocolate for the zodiac’s bovine bombshell.

What: Gorgeousness is the key word here. You’re Venus-ruled, and your house should feel like an Aphrodite-scented Hollywood boudoir. Showcase what’s full of splendor and store the rest. And satisfy cravings for stability by keeping around the items that will truly endure- if it’s less than fully functional, toss it.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: Clean by committee and let yourself approach the project in bits and pieces. Invite some pals over to bounce around ideas. As the zodiac’s curious connector, clothing swaps and white elephants will feed your urge for input and output.

What: Let your objects tell stories. Outside of bare necessities, keep items that have clear narratives. And celebrate anything that’s multifaceted and multi-functional, like that 3-in-1 beauty product or kitchen device.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: Take your time, little mermaid, and plan a cleaning “retreat” where you allow plenty of space for whatever feelings might come up. And honor your urge to give your unused goods new homes by taking items to the Goodwill or gifting to a friend.

What: Sentimentality is your kryptonite, so be careful when hanging on to bits and pieces of your past. If it’s an object history that makes your heart sing, by all means keep it in your living museum. But if it’s pulling on those heart strings too damn hard, get it gone.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: With pomp and circumstance! Make a special cleaning day playlist of the most bubblelicious pop jams and dress up for the occasion. Transform yourself in into a classic Italian housewife complete with a tropical floral-print dressing gown, big hair, and indoor lipstick.

What: Marie Kondo was certainly right when it comes to your cleaning style, glitter kitten: if it doesn’t spark joy and start a roaring fire, move it along. Saturated colors, playful infusions, sparkly objects … there shouldn’t be an item in sight that doesn’t feel like it’s about to start its own personal party.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: You’re the zodiac’s vestal vixen, who lives by her own code and refines and discerns with integrity. Take it piece by piece, room by room, and develop a system that feels methodical and medicinal. Break out the color coding and labeling as you go.

What: The divinity is in the details for you, earth goddess. Hang onto items that are microscopic treasures of tiny pageantry. Create little altars in your space out of minutiae. But be careful not to get too crowded. You function best by soothing your nervous system. Tuck too much busyness into file cabinets and storage containers.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: One of your key missions here on earth is to decide how to choose, and to live with the consequences, sweet Libra. So take your time, but don’t make the process too precious. Once you’ve purged your items, chances are you’ll forget they ever existed so practice some out-of- sight, out-of-mind politics. Once you’ve decided, take it straight to the dumpster.

What: As a navigatress of the gap between the ideal and the reality, find a balance between romantic visions and functionality in your space. Let art objects take pride of place in public view, and tuck less aesthetically pleasing objects behind closed doors. And let there be light! If any item feels even remotely too “heavy” either visually or psychologically, toss it.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: Get down and dirty, Scorpio, and celebrate your intensity with an all-night purge complete with primal yelps, bonfires, and cathartic cries. Spend time with objects that may stir up difficult emotions and simply let yourself feel it all. And then light a match, smash some glass, and prepare for release.

What: Let your space feel a little raw. You’re the zodiac’s premiere transformer and shadow worker, so you may actually want to keep around some objects from your past that aren’t all sweetness and light. But notice the difference between celebrating the full-range of your life, and clinging to difficult feelings that are past their prime. And be wary of objects that are frivolous- superficiality is not your spatial jam.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: Celebrate your cleanout like a birthday blowout, Sag. Announce it far and wide and invite everyone you know. You may even want to throw caution completely to the wind and have the party decide what stays and what goes. Whatever items guests choose to break or take during the festivities will divine what you carry forward.

What: Think nomadic. If it isn’t symbolic of a wild adventure or a future intention, or couldn’t be quickly packed for a spontaneous getaway, it ain’t worth it. And honor your need to figure out secret messages and meanings by placing saga-worthy purchases in places of prominence so you’ll be ready to regale any guests with the epic narratives of how they came to be.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: Slow and steady. Examine each item thoroughly and treat the process like a royal kingdom cleanout. And if it all seems like a massive waste of time, outsource it like the cosmic queen you are and choose to spend the day getting a sumptuous spa treatment or having a high-end solo dinner.

What: Think laborious luxe. Keep objects that are of incredibly high quality and those that were hard won. Whether it’s something you saved for and finally purchased after reaching a career milestone, or just a damn fine marble inlaid cutting board that’s symbolic of sensual living, celebrate the things that are truly worth it.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: Follow your own radically erratic rhythm and clean in bursts as the spirit moves you. But be strategic and look at the big picture. You may even want to sketch out how you want your cleansed space to look before you start, or employ post it notes to distinguish between things to go and stay so you can see the bird’s eye view of your future home.

What: You’re the zodiac’s ingenious inventor so if it doesn’t fascinate you, or can’t be repurposed, it’s probably not worth hanging onto. And with your penchant for panned out perspectives, keep your sight lines clear and make sure your objects coalesce around a common theme. Celebrate techno wizardry with a comprehensive lighting system or voice controlled device.

(Image credit: Kath Nash)


How: No need for strategy, mystical mami. Let it flow and let it go. If you find that this is far too nebulous and simply nothing is getting accomplished, put some gentle boundaries in place. You might start by timing your cleansing sessions with your dream sessions. Practice a little light purging just before you go to sleep. And infuse it with mystery and ritual- light the incense, pour the wine, and drift around your space picking up unused items as you go.

What: As a super emo psychic sponge, your space should be prime relax and recharge territory so balance urges towards over clutter with some carefully chosen junk drawers for celebrating the majestic mess. And make sure to infuse your space with as much magic as possible. Save and savor items that feel like the insides of your secret diary- anything that holds a “charge” for you, or speaks to your soul of future longings.

(Image credit: Joe Lingeman)