The Epic Finale to the Rural Internet Hunt

updated Jul 16, 2020
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(Image credit: The Happy Mundane Beach House Office)

Yes, it’s true: in the year 2014, I was able to get blisteringly slow internet installed in my home, and the whole process only took 7 1/2 weeks. It truly is the New Future.

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When we last checked in on my heroic, ode-worthy journey to connectivity, Frontier had failed to show up for the third appointment, a mere 5 weeks after I’d made the first appointment (the tech was given the wrong address, despite the fact that I’d triple-confirmed my appointment). I rescheduled again, was told it would be another 1 1/2 week delay, and waited from 9am-4pm for someone to come install DSL. Good think I don’t have anywhere to go or anything to do! When 4:45pm rolled around and still no internet, I called Frontier and was told the tech was still on the way. When 11:30pm rolled around, I started to lose hope.

The next morning we received a call that the tech had once again been sent to the wrong address! To install satellite internet! Not DSL! Of course. I was reassured by Frontier that someone would be out… sometime.

Interlude: On 10/10, I filed a formal complaint via Frontier’s online email submission form. On 10/13, I received an email stating that if I wanted to submit a complaint, I needed to send it to this email address or that physical address. Of course, I’d already sent an email, but I could see how it would be impossible for Frontier to forward it to the appropriate channels. I had no intention of wasting paper/ink/stamp money on this fiasco, so I sent an email… which was promptly returned to me with a Delivery Status Notification: Failure message. Oh, how I laughed!

The next day, Friday, I was told that someone would be out Monday. At this point, I talk to Frontier on the phone for at least half-an-hour every day (sorry, friends and family!). On Monday, a tech arrived but we had to leave for work before the indoor installation could be completed. We arranged an appointment for Tuesday morning, and received a confirmation phone call from Frontier that someone would arrive Wednesday… but nope, Tuesday it was! A tech arrived, he was courteous and lovely and efficient and got everything set up quickly and hassle-free.

And now? I don’t like to use my privileged position here at Apartment Therapy to brag, but I now have access to the world’s wisdom at a rate of 1.5Mbps. I can load websites and check my email and internet it up with the best of them. I mean, not so much the “best” as the “slowest” of them. It all worked out for that tortoise, right?

All joking about how few Mbps I own aside, I can actually stream Netflix and Pandora and it is all very intoxicating. Fingers crossed that my internet acquisition tale ends here with a “happily ever after” and that yours resolves quickly, too!