Martha, I am yours. Recieved an email last night inviting us to an "exclusive live chat" with Martha on her website on March 14. Whooopeee! We get to bow down at her feet again. Listen to this carefully idolatrous wording:
To mark her homecoming [Homecoming? Isn't that a quaint word. Goes with "Queen"] and her new column in Martha Stewart Living magazine, Martha will be joining us for an exclusive live chat [would this be a fireside chat?].
Don't miss your chance to participate! [She really wants to know what I think.] Starting at 6:30 p.m. EST on March 14, sign in to the chat on marthastewart.com, and submit your questions. Be sure to sign in early, since space is limited. [Limited space online? Can't they buy another server?] Martha will join us at 8 p.m. to speak with us live [just before we brush our teeth and go to bed] and respond to as many questions as possible [just like Santa Claus].
If you can't attend the chat on Monday, check our website Tuesday for a complete transcript of the event [Sure to be printed in the New York Times along with George Bush's latest address].
MGR [martha serf].