“I Sneak New Houseplants Past My Fiancé”: 14 Plant Parent Confessions

updated May 21, 2020
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Credit: Shutterstock/Levchenko Irina

While it’s 100 percent true that taking care of a plant is very different than taking care of a child, there is one major common responsibility: keeping a living, breathing thing alive. And while your kid can let you know (time and time again) when you’ve done something wrong, a plant is different. It’s silent, unable to verbally remind you how you forgot to water it for two weeks straight, only leaving visual clues that are like decoding a puzzle.

But in reality, every plant parent has made their fair share of mistakes. To further confirm this, we put out a call on Instagram for plant parent confessions. See below for some responses that are so relatable, it’ll make your leaves shake.

1. Outsourcing the watering 

“I leave my plants on the wall nearest my neighbors because they’ll water them 🙈” —@allyjgrace via Instagram

2. Afraid of commitment 

“Sometimes I let my plants die just so I can buy a new (different or bigger) one.” —@murphasaurus via Instagram

Credit: Joe Lingeman

3. A future in smuggling

“I sneak new plants in with my groceries so my fiance doesn’t see me adding to the fam.” —@jilakesh via Instagram

4. Clearly having a favorite

“Only one of my 20+ plants has a name.” —@melissaaperri via Instagram

5. Taking without permission 

“Broke off a bit of Euphorbia trigona in a cake shop bathroom. Now sprouting well.” —@auntythea via Instagram

6. Disappointing mom

“My mom gave me a cutting from her 80-year-old Christmas cactus and I killed it 😩” —@upper__kase via Instagram

Credit: Joe Lingeman/Apartment Therapy

7. Never giving up (even when you maybe should)

“I’m a terrible plant mom but I keep ordering plants anyway. My air plants are still alive 🙊” —@amamar10 via Instagram

8. No blooms allowed

“I hate it when my plants bloom. Any flowers are clipped off post haste a la Morticia Addams.” —@yeonster via Instagram

9. Not knowing when enough is enough

“My confession? I have 244 houseplants!” —@katenelsononline via Instagram

10. (Quietly) replacing old with faux

“Every time a plant dies, I replace it with an expensive faux in the dirt. No one knows.” —@cori_priest via Instagram

Credit: Joe Lingeman/Apartment Therapy

11. Beer is mostly water, right?

“My ficus gets fed beer, coffee, and whatever else is on my counter, and loves it! 🤷‍♀️” —@brittanyhicks_ via Instagram

12. Throwing in the towel (and throwing out the plant)

“I’ve thrown away a plant that could have been savaged, but…it would be an uphill battle 😩” —@honeycombplants via Instagram

13. Mom knows best

“Every few months I have to bring my dying plants to my mom for her to revive them.” —@gracenrebecca via Instagram

14. Abandonment issues

“I’m currently quarantined away from my plants and I cried because I miss them so!!” —@lindsries via Instagram