Is it Social-Distance Sadness… or Depression? Here’s How to Tell, According to Psychologists
Being stuck at home, even if you know you’re doing your part to improve public health, isn’t exactly a walk in the park. For many of us in social-distancing-mode, doing the same thing day in and day out without having much to look forward to in the near future can reasonably lead to feelings of sadness and hopelessness. So how can you know if what you’re experiencing is a temporary mood swing due to extreme circumstances, or clinical depression? And what’s the best way to reach out for help—in either scenario—given you may not be able to leave your home?
The first thing to know: It’s normal to feel a little low right now, especially if you have a history of depression. Dr. Marianna Strongin, a clinical psychologist in New York and founder of Strong in Therapy, says it’s common for people who have faced depression in the past to notice themselves slipping back into a depressive style of thinking during stress-inducing scenarios like a quarantine or lockdown. “It’s like a car at the top of the hill in neutral; over time, it will start to slip down,” she says.
To get a sense of your disposition and gauge if you’re slipping into a state of depression, try and keep track of your moods. Psychologist Laura Murray, a senior scientist at Johns Hopkins University, recommends checking in with yourself at the beginning of each day, then rating your stress level, sadness, or anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10, along with any thoughts that come up. For example, you might write that you woke up with 9/10 sadness, and you think it’s because you read a local news report about new coronavirus cases in your city. Once you’re able to identify that the news depresses you, you might opt to decrease your media intake. “This strategic self awareness can help guide people to stay away from things that trigger higher levels of sadness, depression, or anxiety,” says Murray.
Counteracting the creeping onset of depression could also be as easy as doing the things you don’t necessarily feel like doing. Strongin says it’s vital to pay attention to—and overcompensate—for your mood and lack of motivation. “A depressed mind wants to stay still, isolate, and not be challenged,” she says. “In order not to slip back into that thinking, we have to do the opposite, even when we don’t feel like it.” For example, if you notice yourself losing touch with friends you normally chat with daily, or you usually like to work out four times a week but you’ve only gone for a walk twice, make every effort to rally. Both social contact and regular exercise are helpful depression-fighting tools on their own, but Strongin says one of the most important things when the world feels out of control is getting back into a normal daily routine.
Adhering to a schedule isn’t easy when you can’t leave the house to meet up with your friends for happy hour or do your favorite yoga class at the gym, so try to incorporate those things in your daily rhythms. Take a shower, get dressed, make coffee, and go about your day as “normally” as you can. But don’t overdo it: Overwhelming yourself could have the opposite effect. “Simplicity is key for a depressed mind,” she says.
Along the same lines, Murray recommends that people staying home should make an effort to prioritize sleep and a regular sleep schedule. If you don’t have to get up early to commute to the office, you might find yourself staying up watching Netflix later than usual. But since there’s plenty of research showing ample sleep can improve mood—along with boosting overall health—you’ll benefit from making sleep a priority.
If a normal routine isn’t making a difference, it may be time to consider that you could have clinical depression and would benefit from some help. Strongin says loss of interest in daily activities is the main component to pay attention to. Even when you’re stuck at home, you probably have daily activities you engage in, like making coffee, eating meals, taking a shower, or watching your favorite TV show. In trying times, non-depressed people still muster up the energy to do these things—and perhaps even a little excitement about that hot cup of coffee or home-made lunch—while people with clinical depression typically don’t. “If you’re noticing you no longer want to do those things, that’s a signal it could be depression,” she says.
While it might not be as simple as it once was to schedule an appointment with your primary care doctor for support with depression, Strongin says the pandemic is actually improving mental health care. Almost all clinicians are offering telehealth therapy, and more and more insurance companies are revamping mental health coverage. For those without insurance, it’s worth asking a therapist about a sliding scale fee setup, and Strongin says many clinicians are even volunteering their time to provide free therapy for people. And if you think you might need an antidepressant, you can call your doctor’s office or ping your provider online, if that option is available. Many clinics are offering e-visits, or your doctor can opt to refer you to a psychiatrist.
The important thing is to ask for help, even if you don’t think your depression is a big deal. And don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t muster up a good mood. Instead of trying to get rid of that depressed feeling, Murray suggests a framework focused on managing the intensity of your emotions.
“It’s not about trying to get yourself to be happy, but realizing it’s normal to be sad or anxious right now and then trying to manage the intensity of those emotions,” she says. “Try to have grace and patience with yourself.”
If you’re having thoughts of suicide or of hurting yourself in any way, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. You can also access a crisis counselor through the Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990 or by texting TalkWithUs to 66746.