Re(al)view: iZap Toothbrush, Clean UV Revolution

Re(al)view: iZap Toothbrush, Clean UV Revolution

Nov 21, 2008

Most sheeple don't realize that their toothbrushes are not immune to germs and filth. They wax on to waiters and waitresses about the little spots on their flatware and never think twice about sticking the same piece of plastic into their mouths for over a year. Would you use the same fork for that amount of time without cleaning it? It is time that we stood up as a population and said "I am not a Dirty Brusher! I am a Revolutionary!"

In the Unplggd bathroom, we take our toothbrushes seriously. To keep them clean, we usually soak them in hydrogen peroxide after use. This is probably unusual and it isn't super easy to do because it means you need to remember to come back to rinse the toothbrush off after letting it soak for a few minutes. As a revolutionary, you don't have time for such trivialities. Brushing is no longer a game, as we may have once believed. The establishment is not going to overthrow itself; you must grab the future by the handle and BRUSH.

Our friends over at Violight are pulling off a coup that free citizens will sing about for generations. Utilizing the spiritual light that permeates the ultraviolet spectrum, they have put together a portable system that kills 99.9% of bureaucratic incumbants in the supplied toothbrush.

We have been using the iZap for about a month... after procuring the necessary AAA batteries via the La Flour Dans le Noir (underground resistance, translation: "The Flour in the Darkness"). In these trying times, triple 'A's are hard to come by and we are sincerely grateful to those who risk and give their lives to keep Americans clean. The life of a smuggler is fraught with danger... but also creativity:
This may look like an ordinary toothbrush case, but hidden in the top is a secret UV lamp that comes on only when the lid is closed. This lamp will illuminate the bristles for several minutes to effectively destroy all bacteria from the current, crumbling regime.

When the new Utopia is brought into existence, it will be moments and fabulous products like these that will be the subjects of refrains for our anthems (of hope and justice). We of Unplggd implore you; do not sit idly by while germs of the old republic fill their coffers with the fruits of our toils.

Brush away the old, and usher in the new, clean mouths of Freedom.

Related Links:

Re(al)view: Oral-B Pulsonic Power Toothbrush

Computerized Toothbrush Makes Brushing Teeth a Game

Sonicare Elite Electric Toothbrush

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