Should You Move In Together?

published Feb 7, 2015
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(Image credit: Elissa Crowe)

If you’re in love and you just want more more more of your mate, you’ve probably thought about how nice it would be to just shack up. But slow your roll. Are you really ready? Only consider it if you’ve met these criteria:

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You want to live together, you don’t have to

If you’re moving in for the sake of your finances or out of convenience, you might be making a mistake. You should move in because you want to come home and see that person’s face, not because you want to get a cheaper rent. There are plenty of trials that you will face when living together. Convenience in the short term is just not worth the hassle of moving in for the wrong reasons.

You’ve seen each other at your worst

You should know what the other person is like when she is frustrated, stressed, sad or angry because when you live together, you WILL see it. You need to make sure that you can handle it when your mate shows you the more negative personality traits because at home with you is when those emotions are going to leak out from now on.

You know about each others’ finances

It’s not romantic, but living together means working out your finances in a manageable way. You need to know what your partner is working with in the salary, savings and debt departments. You will most likely be entering into a legal situation with this person, so make sure you won’t be stuck with the bill.

You accept each other’s habits at home

I have news for you: the habits you’ve observed your partner exhibit in his own home is how he will act in your shared home. No one can maintain habits that don’t come naturally to them for very long and, while people can sometimes slowly change to accommodate their partner, if you won’t be okay with this person right now as their current self, you’re not ready for the big move.

You’re clear on your expectations

If you think that living together is a step on the road to marriage and your partner is still just “seeing how it goes,” then get ready for major problems. Talk about what it means to each of you to move in before you sign the lease.

You know how to deal with problems

Everyone has and will continue to have problems they need to deal with especially when sharing a space. The real test of a relationship that will last is how well you can work through an issue. If you haven’t figured out how to effectively resolve fights, work on those skills before you spend time with the apartment classifieds.

What else? What did you wish you had thought about before moving in with your partner? Tell us!