Sleeping Apart, Staying Together?

Sleeping Apart, Staying Together?

Tess Wilson
Aug 30, 2013

Speaking of TV episodes about moving and moving in together, have you seen the "Twin Beds" episode of How I Met Your Mother? Longtime couple Lily and Marshall are seduced by the idea of getting two twin beds, with a third bed — "a dirty, dirty sex bed" — just for sex.

Initially, the couple is horrified to find a set of twin beds in their weekend getaway lodge (above), vowing to "go complain in just a sec"... but then they fall asleep for 18 hours. Back home in their shared bed, they struggle to fall asleep:

Marshall: My god — she's a thousand degrees! It's like putting my leg against a tailpipe.

Lily: Ow, his toenails are like daggers!

Marshall: I'd love a sandwich, but "No Eating In Bed" — stupid rule. We have ants ONE time..

Lily: Great, and now he's falling asleep. Cue the river of drool!

Desperate to sleep, they decide to get separate beds — "and a mini-fridge!":

Marshall: I don't think human beings were ever meant to sleep in the same bed. Somehow sex and sleep got all jumbled together, but they're two different things.

Lily: I know! I mean, I love you, but I want this new bed to be a sanctuary for sleep and sleep alone.

Marshall: Me, too. And some light snacking, but that's it.

They're convinced that their new three bed system (plus a bean bag chair just for special birthday stuff) will revolutionize modern marriage. Their enthusiasm takes a hit when Robin's new boyfriend Don reveals that he and his ex-wife had separate beds, which he believes led them to drift apart:

Lily: Marshall, I'm worried. I don't want to get divorced.

Marshall: Oh, baby. Baby, that's Don, that's not us. Our new sleeping arrangement is only going to bring us closer together. Now get out of my bed.

Lily: Can we at least push 'em together?

Marshall: Sure! Oh, you meant the beds — no I don't wanna do that.

Lily: Why not?

Marshall: Baby, I love you more than life itself, but you're a million degrees. Honestly, I'm surprised your hourly pee breaks aren't just steam.

Lily: Well, you're no picnic in bed either — except for the food and the ants — but I still want to be next to you.

Marshall: Why, so you can kick me and slap me all night? I swear to God, the second you fall asleep you grow extra limbs. It's like spooning with the Hindu deity Ganesha.

Do you and your partner ever — or always — sleep apart? Does it make you sad, or does it make it even more special when you do share a bed? Is it a hassle, or does it work out best for everyone?

(Image: Screenshot from How I Met Your Mother, "Twin Beds", Season 5 Episode 21)

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