Sssh! Clutax is Here

Sssh! Clutax is Here

Maxwell Ryan
Dec 3, 2004

Dept. of Imports. Last night at a dinner party we ran into a friend who told us that clutter had become such a big issue between her and her husband that she had decided to take Clutax.

"Clutax?" We said, "What the hell is that?"

She told us that Clutax is a Canadian drug that makes it easier to focus and deal with decisions surrounding what to keep and what to throw out.

She told me her husband had become irate that every time he came home so many surfaces were covered with her piles of magazines, catalogues, work, etc.. She found it very hard to keep these piles down and...

she could never seem to stick to any system she set up for keeping the daily flow of mail and paper organized. It was all just overwhelming her.

When she heard about Clutax through a friend, she figured it was far easier to take a pill than to gather any more strength or resolve to tackle this issue herself, and her husband agreed. After getting a bottle of the blue pills from her friend, she began taking them and within a week, she had cleared her entire apartment of all the piles she had once had.

It was suddenly so easy.

She threw out tons of old magazines and paper without a care, and neatly organized all of her home office files with color coded tabs. On Clutax, when mail came in the door it no longer piled up, as she made decisions right there and then as to what to do with each piece. She also cancelled a number of subscriptions to magazines and catalogues that she never had time to read.

With Clutax, she said, her life had totally changed and clutter was no longer a problem. Even her husband had tried it to deal with email and phone message clutter at his office. She gave us half of her bottle (see pic) and we started taking it this morning. We can't wait to clean up our apartment! (Thanks, Tori!) MGR

This entire post is fictional and is intended for ironic and humorous purposes only. Clutax does not exist that we know of... yet.

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