The 10 Guests That Will Inevitably Show Up To Your Party

The 10 Guests That Will Inevitably Show Up To Your Party

Jennifer Hunter
Apr 1, 2015

Having a party? Hope you saved a seat at the table for these ten— because they'll be there, whether you like it or not.

The PDA couple

This couple is just so in love they can't keep their hands off each other and it's getting weird. They're handsy at the bar, they're making out in the hallway and then they've disappeared and you're relieved to not have to inch around their conjoined bodies for five minutes until you realize they've probably retired to your bedroom.

The crasher

The crasher is working extra hard to fit in and that makes her the life of party! She's chatting up your coworkers, she's belting out karaoke songs, she's making shots and she may just be your new best friend.

The friend of a friend

The friend of a friend is in town for the weekend. He's on vacation dammit, so he's gonna have another drink. And another one. In fact, now he keeps cornering your party guests to sloppily tell them all about his home town and how different everything is here. "$11 for a beer? You've gotta be kidding me!"

The relative

You accidentally mentioned the party to your relative who goes to college in your town so, of course, you were obligated to invite her even though she's only 19 and now you have to constantly make sure she's not bored or getting wasted. You can't stop yourself from muttering over and over, "You're not gonna tell your mom about this, right?"

The weird date

You were happy your friend wanted to bring a date, good for her! Turns out, it's bad for you because now you and everyone else at your party is involved in what can only be described as the most awkward first date you've ever seen. She's looking for an out, so she brought him to your party to try and escape the dreaded drop off kiss attempt, but he's just not getting the hint.

The ex

You invited your ex because you're so totally fine with your break-up, why wouldn't you want to just chill as friends and watch him hit on other people? You couldn't be cooler about it as everyone can see by how much you're flipping your hair and loudly laughing.

The neighbor

You invited the neighbor so he'd be cool about the party noise; you didn't really expect him to show. But there he is, pouring himself a third drink and close-talking your 19-year-old cousin. Little do you know how awkward it's gonna get in the hallway next week when he won't stop asking for her number.

The mooch

The mooch "forgot" to BYOB and now she's parked in front of the snacks. Ten to one she's gonna loudly wonder, "Who's gonna eat up all this leftover cake?" at the end of the night (and might even pull out her own tupperware).

The networker

This guy is going places. You know because he already told you (and six other people) how great he is at his job while slipping you his business card. Also, while he was telling you all about how he "crushed" his latest performance review/snack break/sales call he was simultaneously scanning the room just in case you invited any high rollers to this party with whom he could grab some "face time."

The wild card

Who is this person? No one is really clear how or why the wild card is here. He doesn't seem to be crashing, but no one actually admits to inviting him or even knowing who he is. Then, suddenly, he's gone. Ghost or anti-social? You decide.

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