The Better Marriage Blanket Banishes Bedroom Flatulence

published May 13, 2010
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So we’re just going to get right to the point with this post, because no graceful intro or set up can counterbalance the idea behind this new product. It’s called the “Better Marriage Blanket” and that’s only because calling it “The Fart Trapping Blanket” seems well… too obvious.

The Better Marriage Blanket retails between $29.99 and $59.99 (Twin-King) and is available in white and beige shades. It’s a comforter that’s constructed from the same military grade fabric used to protect against chemical weapons, so your Silent But Deadlies aren’t lethal to anyone else who happens to be sharing a bed with you.

The item isn’t yet available in stores, but you can order your own online and make sure to take a peek at the online informercial if you’re in the mood for an adolescent giggle.

You use the product like you would any comforter, the inner layer of “activated carbon fabric” keeps the smells at bay. Now if they just make underpants from the stuff, you’ll be set for night and day!

We don’t have any wise words to wrap this up, but the 7 year old in us would really like to point out their logo… just sayin’.