The Geek's Emergency Help Doc for Valentine's Day

The Geek's Emergency Help Doc for Valentine's Day

Gregory Han
Feb 10, 2011

Not everyone's definition of "romantic" falls under the umbrella of those traditional gestures we acquaint with Valentine's Day. No my friend, for every wanna-be Mr. Darcy, there are those pragmatic Lloyd Doblers out there who choose to show their love with more down-to-earth acts or gifts that don't require a down payment that may rely upon a kidney donation. Then again, there are also countless clueless Georges out there, more Costanza than Clooney, who need all the help they can get in the realm of romantic gift giving. In any case, if you find yourself stuck without ideas just a few days before V-Day, we're here to help…

Laptop computer keyboard jewelry by capitolagirl.

Let's begin with the simplest, most affordable, yet tech-oriented gift you can give the apple of your eye. It doesn't require anything but your computer know-how, a piece of paper (preferably premium ink jet or handmade paper, depending on your penmanship or font options) and your commitment to be the best geek you can be.

You've undoubtedly seen or maybe even received a "coupon" promising a romantic dinner, maybe a massage, perhaps even a little [wink] more to be cashed in at the whims and needs of the recipient. One gifted in the arts of the geek can do something similar, but with a written guarantee to handle and care your love's hard drive. Hmm, that sounds oddly inappropriate in every way. Let me rephrase: this coupon would entitle your beloved for a detailed computer update and troubleshooting session to smooth out any kinks they're experiencing.

Your wish is my command ⌘, my lady.

This could entail fully updating the OS, running utility apps, cleaning the drive of any redundant music files and labeling-tagging them correctly, archiving/backing up all their information onto an external hard drive and addressing any ongoing issues troubling their machine. Basically you'll be offering to do all the boring tasks the majority of people avoid doing themselves, but that insure a healthy machine.

If this sounds out of your league, maybe the coupon could simply promise a week without video games or other tech diversions, entitling the recipient your full attention for a day out (yes, maybe even in the sun, Edward). The promise can be altered appropriately to best fit the specific tasks that would be most appreciated. In any case, this coupon is recommended to be most effective when partnered up with the aforementioned dinner and foot massage package and not by itself. And, no, adding a "use by…" date in a 7 point font on the back of the coupon, though admittedly brilliant, isn't recommended.

Make a custom Pandora radio station with handpicked dedicated songs.

Another idea, the USB thumb drive mix tape might be a little played out now, but if your significant other is a Pandora user, you could surprise them with a customized Pandora Station. You can even add your own skin and label your station with its own name to best insure the highest romantic effect possible. May we suggest, "133.7 FM", with 113.7 representing the total minutes promised, and "FM" standing for "foot massage"? If done with care, the length of the music mix could coincide with the time total spent lavishing your love with the soothing effects of your manly mouse-wielding hands. Treat their back and feet like a giant sized iPad, you touch gesture maestro, you.

We once were told by a female friend, a geek herself, that one of the most romantic things her husband had ever done for her was to sneak away while she was sleeping to disassemble and hand clean both her mouse and keyboard to a nearly new finish. Considering the tale, it could be argued the most geeky and passionate relationships are the ones where the USB peripherals are clean, but the hard drives remain dirty.

Of course, we've recently shared a catalog's worth of geek/tech oriented gear to add a bit of retail romance if you'd like to supplement:

[iPad 3D desktop image: Lyubomir Angelov]

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