We Watched (Most of) “Fuller House” (So You Don’t Have to)
So dedicated are we at Apartment Therapy that three of us gave up our Friday nights to watch the new season of Fuller House to see if it’s worth your time. Taking to our work chat room, we typed away our observations as we let the bad dad jokes, nostalgic catchphrases and strange guest stars wash over us.
Nora Taylor, Tara Bellucci and I (Adrienne Breaux) made it through an impressive six straight episodes. We all unanimously decided after the sixth episode we had hit our limit. So for all the reviewers out there who made it through the entire season, we bow to your stamina. Below, find some things we learned from watching half the season and some of our actual quotes from our running Slack channel observations.
Spoilers ahead!
→ John Stamos still looks so good it hurts
AB: Where’s Stamos’ Greek yogurt based skin care line already?
NT: #teamhotdads
→ The new season doesn’t shy away from deep burns
The Olsen twins and Donald Trump both get thrown some shade.
→ D.J. Tanner was Tara’s celebrity doppelganger in grade/middle school:
→ These episodes would probably have been more fun to watch with a drinking game
NT: Should this be a drinking game?
AB: We should have made catchphrase bingo cards
→ The real stars are that baby and the cleaning-obsessed kid with the high school vocabulary and the best delivery and comedic timing of anyone in the show.
AB: These kid actors are acting their hearts out
NT: I love sweater vest kid, he’s a star
TB: Give that kid an Emmy
AB: DID HE JUST SLAP HIS FACE WITH BALONEY
TB: All Max all the time
TB: Tommy looks like a 55-year-old Irish cop
→ It’s subtle, but Kimmy Gibbler may be a feminist hero for a new age (and the most earnest fashionista of all time)
NT: Fashionable, sexually frank, owns her own business
TB: I WANT THAT DONUT PURSE
TB: Gimme Kimmy’s lobster necklace
→ There are a lot of fried chicken jokes but none of us cared enough to find out why
AB: Is the fried chicken a callback joke? I don’t remember
TB: Fried chicken is just delish I think
NT: I don’t remember the chicken at all
→ Stephanie’s story line may have set the “single and loving it” and “child-free” movements back a few decades
She’s not-so-subtly drunk while explaining a little too much about how happy and free she is about being single and childless. And then she drops the bomb that she hasn’t chosen to remain childless, she can’t have kids.
TB: Ok gurl you can go to Italy and be an aunt
NT: Nooo Steph stay single and happy we are a new force in America
AB: Soooo….the only reason why someone wouldn’t have children is if they can’t have children
→ Strange guest stars joined in: some dudes from Dancing With the Stars and Macy Gray.
Also Nora and I had no idea those were the guys from DWTS
TB: Yes! That’s Maks & Val
NT: I still can’t believe Macy is doing this
AB: Like can we get a show with those two dancing brothers and the property brothers? All eyebrows and corny jokes, all the time.
→ Diapers are apparently a lot more complicated than we ever realized
(A phone gets “lost” in one, one clogs up the plumbing.)
NT: No one in this house gets diapers
→ Today as in the the ’90s, long-haired boys are trouble
TB: Long hair = bad kid
NT: Strong Judd Nelson vibes
→ There were a lot of old catchphrases in this new season, but there were plenty of quotable new ones to choose from, too
TB: Foxy lady in the hen house
NT: Have a good weekend she-Wolfpack
NT: Next time you guys are in the office I’m going to yell “Kimmy Gibbler in the house”
Nora— I enjoyed it but I think that was largely due to the (digital) company I was keeping. I will probably just allocate the time I would spend watching the rest of the episodes to reading any and all think pieces about the show.
Tara — It’s a bit raunchier than I thought it was going to be (did the OG have this many sex jokes?). I don’t think I could’ve done it alone, but I was pleasantly surprised it wasn’t as horrible as I thought it was going to be. I might just watch the rest (but with rosé and your fine company, please).
Adrienne — Truthfully? It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. But like Nora mentioned above, it might be because I was having so much fun making jokes with my online company and it’s entirely possible that I would have been bored to tears —or die from excessive groaning at bad jokes—had I been watching alone. I just finished season 10 of “Supernatural” (all the available seasons of the show on Netflix) last night though, so I might get desperate and finish.