You've just put in writting my GREATEST FEAR!! It's why i've never had a real soiree. Not even a birthday party to me.
With this new plan, i'm going to try it. Just gotta find someone to do the math for me;).

as an event planner i'm thrilled to see so many party people in the place. i just bought my condo (500sqft) and can not wait to host a soiree! i really like lauren's formula for guest count. what's the name of your book lauren?

but all this presupposes one has friends, drinks booze, and wears togas!

i like small dinner parties where people can talk. i also really like my friends (ok, and everyone else in the world) singularly, and not in group formation.

i don't like group formations.

P(too),

As a vegetarian guest I do not expect people to go to a lot of trouble to accommodate me, but I would hope they wouldn't add a pointless carnivore ingredient to an item such as gingersnaps that are usually ovo-lacto vegetarian. Why add pointless restrictions for people you supposedly like.

For a dinner party, I let the hostess know that I'm vegetarian and offer to bring a vegetarian dish.

As a hostess I don't offer totally meatless food because my significant other likes to cook and isn't a vegetarian. If I lived alone, I would serve only vegetarian food when entertaining, but I wouldn't kick you out for bringing in crab dip or BBQ!

I think the square footage formula should be a consideration, but not a subsitute for thoughtful furniture placement (which may or may not include re-arranging, or temporarily removing some of your normal furnishings). I have been to spacious homes where there is plenty of seating, but it is all too far apart to have effective conversation with anyone but the person directly next to you. Also, I was at a party this past summer where the hostess actually ran over and put her hand under someone's drink as they were placing it down on a table. This was the only surface in the vicinity and there were no coasters available -- needless to say, this made for an uncomfortable remainder of the party (complete with whispering and chuckling). As a host/hostess, making your guests welcome and comfortable is of utmost priority -- without this, no one can have fun! In addition to sufficient square footage, make sure there is enough seating, plenty of surfaces for drinks -- oh, and periodically check in to make sure there's toilet paper on the roll!

OH, and regarding the vegetarian issue -- I think it is a polite gesture to those with known special diets to discretely orient them with the food to make them aware of which dishes have been prepared with the ingredient(s) they have an aversion to. This is from someone who just hosted Thanksgiving for 18, including (2) vegetarians, (1) diabetic, (1) celiac and (1) peanut allergy.

I'm so glad for this entry. My roommate and I are stressing out about a Christmas party we're throwing, because all but one of the 30 people we invited have said yes and our apartment is about 700 square feet.

We're starting the party early, at 7:30, with the hopes that people might come early and leave, or arrive late. We have a galley kitchen; it's seems crowded when there are three people in it. We were thinking of having most of the drinks and vittles in the dining area and maybe some in the living room area.

But my question is, it seems that it will be inevitable that people will go into our bedrooms. Should we utilize that space for actual party territory? Maybe putting a drink station in there? Or is that a no-no?

Thanks.

I'm with you, kdkaboom. Just thinking about the kind of crowded cocktail party that other seem to adore makes me tense up in anxiety. I've also never understood why a party that "starts at 8" doesn't really start at 8.

I guess this is why I throw dinner parties.

Interesting ideas! I'm having a holiday party soon and will use the bedroom for coats--based on previous parties, people will end up hanging out there (we have a galley kitchen so no hanging out in there). We have a projector and got a Channel 11-type dvd of a fireplace. Any other ideas of stuff to project? We had La Dolce Vita at anothe party which looked cool, but I think people got too involved with the story. We're also starting much earlier than normal and invited parents & kids for cookie decorating (we don't have kids), hope it's not an icing disaster!

SD913,

Lauren's comment was back in 2005, but her book has to be Cocktail Parties, Straight Up! by Lauren Purcell. (The Amazon review mentions that the authors are sisters.)

I just put it on my Amazon wish list.

My rule of thumb on the invited vs actual guests in 50%. Regardless of the 'regulars' who'll always come, the mebbes if-Ive-not-gotten-a-betta-invite, and the hail mary invites, it stands the empirical test.

I love throwing parties! Don't be afraid! Unless it's a seated dinner or formal party just invite all the friends you have and if it ends up too crowded, oh well, did you really want to leave people out?

I can't believe no one has posted yet about party favors... I love sending people home with a little cheapie something. I hosted a secret santa party for about 12 girlfriends last year, and surprised them all at the end (and myself basically too, since I about forgot to give them out....thank you booze) with $5 pashminas from Canal St. They made a beautifully colorful arrangement all rolled up in a basket, and everyone loved them. This year I am hosting a holiday cocktail party, and just went by Pearl River Mart and picked up some little random goodies for grab bag parting gifts (funny sake cups, harmonicas, a yoyo, etc). Just goofy silly things that probably only my friends will like, but fun all the same.

Luisa in Dallas,

thanks! i didn't even notice some of these posts were that old.

in response to defjam's bedroom question - if you're comfortable having people in your bedroom, then it's totally fine to use it as an entertaining space. Assuming your in a city (like NYC) where as much as half of the real estate in your apartment is tied up in the bedroom, sometimes it's silly not to use it. An actual drinks station might be a bit much, but try not to cover the bed with coats, provide an extra chair or two and definitely have music. Then encourage a few close friends to hang out in there to let other guests know it's a party space and you should be fine!

yes! Here's the scene: a B-movie actor-slash- avante garde musician invited me to a dinner party. I came an hour late. I was still only the third person there. When dinner was served two hours later to the 30 or so guests, it was enough for maybe 2 or 3 people. I brought a bottle of scotch. We emptied it. We were still hungry and drunk. I met some really amazing people and had a great time. Now when I go to events like these, I fill my pockets with cheerios or slimjims.
-videonerdann

Oh, the horror...
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a286/MAGNAVERDE/DESK--tooearly--tissot.jpg
-magnaverde

The word is "tenets" as in the four tenets of giving a party are . . . (not Tenants).

- lucidez777

Personally, I prefer the few people sitting around a living room. Crowds are overrated.
-charlenemcbride

yey small but cool! since moving to a smaller apartment my parties have been so much better!

-Louisa

I can't wait to see the post on lighting. I used to be constantly amazed by how often I'd walk into a so-called party and find glaring overhead lighting and no music at all. After many years of trying to be the music & lighting fairy, I've (mostly) given up. Apparently I run in circles of people who are as dense about "mood lighting" as they are about "mood music." Do our stimulating conversations make up for these things? Sometimes... but usually only after some has turned the lights down and put on some music.
-honeyhaze

when planning the menu, please keep in mind....a vegetarian doesn't eat meat, but meat eaters CAN eat vegetarian very easily.

There is way to much math involved with throwing a party. You guys are scaring me! ;-)

Patrick #2, as to your question about whether vegetarian hosts are obliged meat:

Since most humans who eat meat are not strict carnivores but rather omnivores, serving a veggie-based meal would not preclude them from eating. Whereas serving a meat-based meal to vegetarians would. Besides, quite often I find the vegetarian dishes at parties are the ones that get scarfed up first... by the omnivores! Veggie fare these days is pretty damn tasty. Just stop by your local Trader Joe's if you need proof.

Sorry... didn't see dM's much more succinct post before posting my long-winded one (which has a typo... it should say "whether vegetarian hosts are obliged to serve meat").

I live in a 3200 sq ft house and have the problem of too much space for a great party. People hang out in the kitchen and great room leaving all the other rooms empty or a few will break off and leave the group to chat. There is no energy with all the space in the house. I now see that I can invite 150 more people to get things moving.

I find this formula fascinating, but the horror story in opening is usually not for a lack of planning as much as a lack of friends to fill the space. In the

uyyy 60 people and one bathroom!!

This seems very contrived to me. What's wrong with inviting all the people you enjoy spending time with, regardless of "density?"

umm... how does this all work if i am interested in planning an apartment housewarming/ sunday brunch? there will be no dancing, a more laid back calmer vibe and my friends will not be drinking as much as if it was a nighttime get together. my living room (w/o furniture -- but there will be by the time of my party) is about 19x23. thoughts on appropriate number of people etc?

Doing a math equation in order to plan a party really only works if you are planning to hold the party on the set of "The Big Bang Theory"

If a party is sparsely populated, gently move people into a smaller space. Matbe this party wants to be an intimate philosophical convo over manattans in the living room...