Alice, My Neighbor Likes To Walk Around Naked
Dear Alice,
Hope you can help me with this one because it’s getting awkward. My apartment’s kitchen windows look out onto another building and one of the tenants there likes to walk around his living room naked. I know because he forgets to shut his drapes most of the time. I’m always humiliated when it happens, but he doesn’t seem to learn his lesson and wear a robe. To be clear: he’s never done anything sexual (besides hanging out in the buff) but it still makes me very uncomfortable. I’m a man, by the way. I don’t want to have to keep my blinds shut all the time just to keep myself from seeing something I don’t want to when I’m pouring myself some coffee in the morning. What, if anything, can I do?
Sincerely,
Not Okay With Mr. Naked
Dear NOWMN,
Well, I guess you can start by thanking your lucky stars that this seems to be a friendly yet forgetful gentleman who just happens to prefer his birthday suit. It could be worse.
You said “he doesn’t seem to learn his lesson and wear a robe” so it seems like he is aware that you caught him naked and hasn’t learned to close the shades. If you have any doubt that he knows you can see him, I’d start by making him aware. I’m guessing you don’t know this person in a neighborly way so perhaps rather than a “Hi, I’m your neighbor and I’ve seen your junk” convo, you could make sure he sees YOU (hopefully while he is clothed) in your kitchen. You want to trigger the idea in his mind that if he can see you, then maybe he should be more discrete. You could even smile or make eye contact to really drive the point home.
If that doesn’t work, you can look into the laws in your area. There are indecent exposure laws on the books in many states but those cases are usually reserved for public indecency. Since his actions don’t seem to be sexually motivated, he’s in his own home and doesn’t seem to be exposing himself to you on purpose you may not have much legal ground to stand on, but do inquire.
Last resort: you could always just print out a copy of this post and slip it under his door!
Love,
Alice