If You Love to Hate Goop, We Found Your Next Book

updated Jul 17, 2020
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If you love to hate goop, then we’ve got a perfect summer read for you: Gabrielle Moss’Glop,” a hilarious, satirical take on Paltrow’s wellness dynasty.

Moss, who’s also an editor at Bustle, said the idea for the book was born in 2015, after Paltrow posted on goop about vaginal steaming. “I decided I would also steam my vagina and report it to see how closely my experience mirrored Gwyneth’s,” she says. “It did not, probably because she was doing it in some beautiful, luxurious place, and I was just squatting over a pot of steam in my house.”

The giant gap between Paltrow’s life and the lives of most women, including her own, intrigued Moss. “The severe disconnect between the way goop is pitched and the reality of that moment of burning my genitals set the wheels in motion for the book. I thought there was something really interesting about the way everyone I knew was reading and hating this stuff, while also wondering if it actually worked.”

The book, which pokes fun at goop’s elitism and vanity with satirical recipes, detox and beauty tips, and a generous selection of life-changing hand creams, highlights the tension many of us experience with the aspirational wellness movement—we’re annoyed by the constant, unfounded, and expensive advice, but we simultaneously wonder if having those things would somehow make our lives better. After all, Gwyneth seems happy, doesn’t she?

Credit: Amazon
A page from "Glop."

“Goop is so compelling because it’s full of useless things and bad advice. But there’s still part of our brains that ask, ‘If I had a $5,000 oil diffuser, would I be happier?'” says Moss. “I think there’s a thread of loving to hate goop, but you kind of hate it as a self-protective measure because you know you can’t afford solid gold underpants. But at the same time, you’re also wondering, would I be happier with the solid gold underpants?”

Not surprisingly, the book, which was released at the end of 2016, has resonated with a large audience—the same women who somehow feel both personally victimized and captivated by the unrealistic messages Gwyneth Paltrow sends about wellness. “I was hoping to speak to the pressure that publications like goop put on women to be perfect and healthy—to open your third eye and look good doing it,” Moss says. “I haven’t heard anything from Gwyneth, but in my heart I’d like to believe she’s read it.”