Sleeping Together for the First Time

updated Mar 11, 2020
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Whether you’ve just moved in with your significant other or have decided to have a date spend the night, sleeping in the same bed with someone else can sometimes be a real compromise. When I imagine sleeping in the same bed with someone, I first think about the romantic ideals and completely forget about any issues such as snoring, stealing covers, and alarm clocks.

We are simply going to discuss the technicalities of sleep behaviors and leave the more intimate connotation of sleeping together for another time.

My unfavorable sleep behaviors include setting the alarm clock and not waking up to its annoying beeping. I do enjoy the comfort of sleeping next to a warm body at night, so I decided to make the situation as ideal for both myself and my partner as possible.

  • Turn the Blinds to Block the Morning Sun: Especially if someone isn’t a morning person, waking up to a bright light is not the most welcoming wakeup call.
  • Set the Alarm Clock for the Actual Time: I am guilty of setting the alarm clock for an unrealistic time and then sleeping through the beeping. Having the piercing alarm clock sound continue through the numerous snooze phases can be very inconsiderate to the person who doesn’t have to wake up at a certain time.
  • Tiptoe into Bed: If one person decides to go to bed before the other, try not to wake the sleeping beauty by being as quiet as possible when entering the bedroom. Complete nightly tasks such as plugging in cell phones prior to the lights being turned off.
  • Share the Covers: Yes it feels great to wrap up in the blanket, but the other person doesn’t want the responsibility of having to pull the covers away.
  • Windows Open or Closed: Everyone has a different vulnerability to hot and cold temperatures. While a cool breeze may feel soothing to one person, another may have a hard time staying warm through the night.
  • Cuddling: Surprise, some men do like to cuddle, even though they may not admit it. However some men and women may not sleep well when laying close or cuddling. Decide what your partner’s personal preference is and don’t take personal offense to the answer, whatever it may be.
  • Shower: Taking a shower before coming to bed may seem like the obvious, but not everyone takes nightly showers. I like to view the bed as a comfortable, clean resting place and want to be able to relax at night without the days dirt.
  • Dress Cute: There is no formal dress code for sleepwear, but it never hurts to put a little effort in. My biggest gripe is a man who comes to bed in the same t-shirt that he wore all day.
  • Bonus: Breakfast in Bed: As a reward for getting through the first night of sleeping together and to encourage future sleepovers, serving breakfast in bed never hurts. It also keeps sharing a bed fun and enjoyable rather than feeling the anxiety of compromise.

And for long term sleep partners:

  • Decide Who Sleeps on Which Side of the Bed: This seems silly, but if you are in a relationship you quickly realize that everyone has set routines that they don’t like to give up.

What are some of your tips for making sleeping together a success?


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Image: Musical Bedrooms