(Image credit: ABC/Buena Vista Television)
The design world is ripe for dad jokes — you know dad jokes, don't you? They're a particular brand of clean, G-rated jokes that almost always result in the listener groaning and rolling their eyes? They usually involve puns, too. Like that guy who walked around IKEA, torturing his girlfriend with product puns — total dad joke master.
In case you'd like to take the opportunity this Father's Day to pay tribute to the dads of the world with silly jokes, here is a big list to get you started. These work best when you don't announce you're telling a joke. Just wait for a break in conversation — or for just the right situation — and let one rip...
"A furniture store keeps calling me. But all I wanted was one night stand."
"What's the leading cause of dry skin? Towels."
"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
"Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it."
"Do you want to hear a roof joke? It's on the house."
"I got a reversible pillowcase for my birthday. I can't wait to see how it turns out."
"I'm making a plan to save money for a Velcro sofa. And I plan on sticking to it."
"Deep thought of the day: When you clean out a vacuum, you become a vacuum cleaner."
"Broken macrame planter for sale. No strings attached."
"What's the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels."
"What does a house wear? Address."
"I really love lamps. They're such a turn-on."
"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming."
"I'm still not sure which vanity to go with in the bathroom. Let's sink about it."
"There are so many upholstered stools in this store, it's practically an ottoman empire."
"Sometimes when I'm working in the garden, it strains my eyes. So I have to use my weeding glasses."
"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint."
"Those guys I hired to paint the table worked so quickly, it's like they varnished in thin air."
"Breaking news. After all these years corduroy pillows are still making headlines."
"My brother fell into an upholstering machine. He's fully recovered."