After Loss, This Sound Musician Transformed a 115-Year-Old NYC Apartment

Last summer my dad unexpectedly passed away. It obliterated me. I moved into this apartment just a few weeks later. It’s been one one of the most intense transitions of my life — tied deeply to my grief and the process of rebuilding.

My relationship with my dad was layered, and my grief has been complex. I’m grieving the future that won’t happen, the past that didn’t, and the person he was, who is no longer here. Between that and the overwhelming logistics of death (which are absolutely insane), I really lost my way.

Dreaming up and creating during difficult times has always been my lifeline — something I got from my dad. After everything that happened in my last apartment (my mom also almost died and miraculously came back to life), I needed a change of scenery.

I was also over the four-floor walk-up, the trash castle outside my front door (love you, Bushwick), the roaches (!!!), and carrying Jelly (my at-the-time-brand-new puppy) up and down the stairs for potty training.

I created vision boards months before I even got the chance to work on my new place — long before the landlord even said yes. Manifesting and visualizing my future felt therapeutic while grieving my dad. It helped me express myself and envision a future that included him and his spirit, while also looking forward to what I still had yet to create. It helped me stay connected to LIFE, while everything about the one I knew had crumbled.

When I was little, my dad called me “Action Jackson,” so when I saw a listing on Jackson Street, I laughed to myself. It was the first and only apartment I looked at.

One of my favorite sounds when I was growing up was the rustling of the sycamore trees and the birds chirping outside my bedroom window. I missed my Virginia backyard where my dad and I would grill steak and smoke Alaskan salmon. I missed lying in the grass while he played guitar with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, under all those big trees.

When I arrived on Jackson Street, the landlord introduced himself. His name was Pat. It felt significant because one of my dad’s best friends (an uncle-like figure in my life), also named Pat, had passed away a few years back. He took me to the private backyard, draped in trees and filled with the sound of summer birds. Jelly ran like she never had before, and the wind blew through the leaves. I cried big, sloppy tears and knew I was home.

The apartment needed some love and vision — but hey, so did I. I was ready to bring it to life.

Every corner of my apartment is filled with memories and color, reflecting the people I’ve lost, those alive that I love, and their influence on my life. My dad was a prolific painter, my mom a photographer, and the walls are filled with art by both of them and their best friends — Pat’s paintings and Doug’s photographs. Doug was like a second dad to me and has also since passed, and both his and Pat’s deaths were significant losses in my life.

My dad and I had a complicated relationship, but sitting in my home now I feel like his paintings are holding me up. His art and legacy have created a cocoon of support around me.

This home has become my refuge — holding me, supporting me, and helping me heal during one of the darkest years of my life.

Jackie has recently added another line to her job offerings: home styling. “I’ve always loved noodling around in a space — I spend legit hours standing in different corners with my arms folded, trying to decide what direction to turn a vase. I love rearranging, sourcing pieces, painting, and making spaces feel just right. After doing it for myself for years, I’ve finally decided to offer this to others,” Jackie writes. “I specialize in transforming small spaces into stylish, colorful, and functional environments that make the most of every inch. I obsessively source furniture, decor, and art; create thoughtful layouts; and make expert color choices to help you set up a place where you can kick back and be yourself.“

• Kitchen Wall Color — “Irish Spring 2038-70” by Benjamin Moore
• Kitchen Closet Color — “Chic Lime 396” by Benjamin Moore
• Kitchen Cabinet Color — “Nature Lover SM1031 Performance Satin” by Stainmaster
• Bedroom Wall Color — “Soft Chinchilla 2135-50” by Benjamin Moore
• Bedroom Ceiling Color — “Tawny 2161-20” by Benjamin Moore
• Living Room Ceiling, Door Trims, and Fireplace Border Color — “Calm OC-22” by Benjamin Moore
• Living Room Center of Fireplace — “Misty Lilac 2071-70” by Benjamin Moore

• Custom Pink Sofa — Total Design Furniture
• Custom Black Chair — Total Design Furniture
• Blue Sofa — West Elm
• Rug — Cold Picnic
• Coffee Table — Vintage 1960s Charles and Ray Eames for Herman Miller 
• Mirror Pedestal — Urban Outfitters
• Orange Meditation Pillows/Dog Bed — Sage Meditation
• Circle Pillows — DIY
• Bench — Urban Outfitters
• Bench Cushion — DIY
• Petite Hutch — Vintage, Spaced Out Studio
• Vintage 1980s IKEA sconce — VanLanschot Vintage
• Custom Shelving via Le Tenonet la Mortaise
• Floor Colour Cabinet — HAY
• Red Fan Lamp — HAY
• Custom Yellow Curtain — Pink Unicorn Studio
• Window Curtains — Lulu & Georgia (Black & Sand)
• Doorway Curtain —  Lulu & Georgia (Copper & Sand)
• Window Sheers — West Elm
• Yellow Vase —  MoMA
• Two-Tone Vase — MoMA
• Dumbo Bookends — Tortuga
• Plant Stand — Unknown yard sale
• Vintage 1970s Wall Lamp with Stained Glass — New Times Finds
• Red Tray — School House
• Bon Bon Lamp Shade — Coming Soon
• Marble Mid-Century Tripod Side Table — Etsy
• Ceiling Lamp Shade — Tulip
• Elvis Clock — Amazon
• Broken Nose Head Painting — Mike Cantwell
• Mandela Head Painting — Mike Cantwell
• Ghost Head Painting — Mike Cantwell
• Small Self Portrait Painting — Mike Cantwell
• Both Abstracts Paintings — Pat O’Brien

• Table — Handmade Vintage
• Black & White Vase — Made by my Grandpa
• Chairs — Vintage Marcel Breuer Cesca Chairs
• FOTO Plug-in Pendant Lamp — IKEA (painted)
• Half Circle Mirror — Acry Craft Mirror CO
• Dog Match Holder — Eleanor Bostrom
• Tiny Vase — Concrete Cat 

• Bench — Vintage, Unknown
• Custom Green Curtains (into Bedroom) — Pink Unicorn Studio
• Window Cafe Curtains — DIY
• Kitchen Island — Room & Board via Facebook Marketplace
• Silver Tray — West Elm
• Picasso Sugar Bowl — Carrol Boyes
• Concrete Vase — Concrete Cat
• Chopping Board — Fredericks & Mae 
• Bar Stools — Carlos Casa
• Cast Irons — Dad’s + Grandma’s
• Chrome Plant Pot — Areaware
• Painted Trash Can — Yard Sale 
• Basket — Vintage via Dobbin St. Co Op
• Turkish Plates — My Mom’s (she lived there)
• Robert Welch Arden Stainless Steel Steel Pillar Candle Holders — Vintage via Sere Design
• Frank Meisler Teak Candle Holder — Vintage via Vintage by Lila
• Blue Runner Rug — Turkey
• Vintage 1980s G&G Gérard Gossé Metal Adjustable Flip-Open Wall Lamp — NeoSpace Objects
• Raawii Storm Bowl — Finnish Design Shop
• Curtain Tie-backs — Vintage via eBay
• Green Deco Circle Mirror — Mirror Cooperative
• Orange Circle Mirror — Schoolhouse
• Small Abstract Painting — Pat O’Brien
• Large Abstract Painting — Pat O’Brien
• Small Flowers Painting — My Friend Micky’s Grandmother

• Velvet Curtains (inside of doors) — West Elm
• Tracking Curtains and Closet Curtains — Lulu & Georgia (Black & Olive)
• Closet System — Elfa via Facebook Marketplace
• Side Table — USM Modular via Facebook Marketplace
• Panthella 250 Table Lamp — Louis Poulsen via Facebook Marketplace
• Sofa — Vintage from My Childhood Home & Reupholstered 
• Long Low Plant Stand (Used as Side Table) — Vintage Yard Sale
• Shelf — DIY
• Pendant Lamp — HAY
• Low-Profile Bed Frame — Get Laid Beds
• Kartell Storage Unit — Facebook Marketplace
• Vintage Space Seiko SDA-573 Flip Clock — Future Forms
• Circle Pillows — DIY
• Raini Home x Casa Veronica Ceramic Candle Sconces — Dwell
• 3-Tier Wooden Shelf — Urban Outfitters
• Rug — Nordic Knots 
• Me & My Mom Painting — Mike Cantwell
• Above the Couch Painting — Mike Cantwell
• Above Bed Painting — Kevin O’Brien

• Ceiling Lamp Shade — Tulip
• Towels — Dusen Dusen
• Shower Curtain — Quiet Town
• Art — Andrew Kozlowski
• Two-Tone Curtain — Senjoo Home
• Elvis Mask — Graceland
• Floor Light – Kismas

Thanks, Jackie!

This tour’s responses and photos were edited for length/size and clarity.

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