This Bronx Apartment With a Gorgeous Louvre-Approved Replica Mural Is Somehow Only $325K

published Oct 18, 2019
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You’ll be soaring to new peaks of luxury in this University Heights pre-war period apartment in the Bronx, New York. As you enter the home’s foyer, it takes a minute to adjust to the fact that you seem to be in some sort of glamorous hotel lobby of a different time. The jade-colored ceramic walls and crown molding welcome you to the sunken living room, which should be engulfed in puffs of smoke from those fancy long cigarette holders. (This is not an endorsement for smoking, but definitely an endorsement for looking vintage-cool.) As you move into the living space, past the imaginary waiter serving martinis and dodging someone’s parrot, you’ll find a wall of floor to ceiling mirrors and framed in copper patina. The ceiling is a vision unto itself, if you can be distracted from the detailed floral hand-painted wallpaper. 

Oh my, the bathrooms. First, the master bath—tiled completely with imported Turkish Iznik tiles—features the most stunning toilet seat I’ve ever seen. (I’ve seen a lot, okay? No further questions.) The second bath, with its black-and-white tiled floor, clawfoot tub, and wainscot and saffron-tile walls, probably smells like a very sensual perfume. Oh, it also has a dang mural. A replica of Jean-Honore Fragonard’s “The Bolt,” this bathroom mural and required ACTUAL APPROVAL BY THE LOURVE TO PRINT.

The home’s two bedrooms are equally opulent, with the spacious guest room featuring a classic Waverly toile wallpaper. The master bedroom’s windows contain additional soundproofing so the sounds of the neighborhood don’t interfere with the saxophones and erupting laughter inside. The dining area boasts a mirrored wall whose frame has hand-placed gold leaf accents. The kitchen emits a classic feel with brick tile and fully functioning vintage appliances where I imagine you can sneak off with a mysterious surrealist painter and discuss which artists friends have found benefactors.

Look, my version of grandeur won’t be limited by a single era or impression—it’s just a feeling. And for the price of $325,000, you can commit to whatever version of perfection that suits you in this stunner that spares no detail. 

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