I Moved to My Dream City — And Made a Decision About My Life I Didn’t Expect

For the past 10 years, Seattle has been the axis that my world revolved around. I grew up in Federal Way, a suburb known for being a stopping point for travelers between Seattle and Tacoma. I went to college in Seattle, and never left. But even though Seattle is my chosen home, a small part of me always wondered if New York would be a better place for me. 

I was drawn into the romantic idea of countless 2010s movies about writers set in New York — that living in New York is the adventure of a lifetime that everyone should do at least once. It was a thought I couldn’t get out of my head.

But it was a scary one. That is, until I had a conversation with my cousin that changed everything. She convinced me that I could try New York on for size before choosing it forever. I decided to spend some time in the fall in New York City to see if I could get an answer once and for all. 

So I dragged my suitcases up several flights of stairs into a walk-up apartment in Midtown (a back-up option I found quickly after my first Airbnb listing had mice) and settled into my New York life. When I put in my headphones and walked with purpose, I finally felt like I was the main character of all of those movies I’d watched about writers in New York. Whether I was riding the subway or walking through the park, the hustle and bustle of the city made me feel like I had a community all around me.

There were so many things I loved about the city. It brought me out of my shell. Thanks to extensive public transportation routes — a perk Seattle also has, but what city compares to New York? — adventure was only a subway ride (and a few transfers) away. I certainly wasn’t local, but I’d built a little world for myself, a little brown girl experiencing fall in New York. 

It was humbling for me to do things on my own again. I compiled a list of 80 New York spots on my phone and was determined to check them all off. Most mornings were reserved for a solo date — I went to museums, visited murals, and saw shows. But after weeks of speed racing through every activity, my list just kept growing. I found myself overwhelmed by the pressure to “try to see everything.” 

And I missed home. I missed big milestones like birthdays, and shows and exhibits at my favorite theaters and museums. I realized I didn’t want to miss out on what really mattered to the people I love most. I was glad I’d tried New York on for a size — but I knew then that it didn’t fit.

So I went home, back to Seattle. I found peace within my community, with my partner, and at my favorite businesses — places where I knew exactly what to order and exactly what bus stopped nearby. I found it easy to feel comforted by the nature all around me, whether it was by walking through a nearby park or even looking at the evergreen trees that lined the highways. 

I also fell back in love with the little things. I screamed, “The mountain is out!” every time I saw Mt. Rainier, a perpetual reminder of the place I’d spent more than half of my life hiking. I reconnected with old and new friends. In Seattle, I felt like I could be a big fish in a slightly smaller pond — one that was more familiar to me. 

I channel the adventurous spirit I found in myself in New York by trying out a new coffee shop or introducing myself to someone new at an event. I created a TikTok all about all my favorite BIPOC-owned businesses to inspire others to explore this place I love so deeply. I don’t wait to try a new spot until I have a special occasion — I go immediately. And I don’t feel as overwhelmed when that list grows. 

Nothing will ever compare to New York and the fact that every day brought something new. But in Seattle, I found balance. I know the city like the back of my hand. I know adventure starts the second I choose it.