Should This Woman Buy a House and Leave Her Husband Off the Deed? Here’s What Reddit Thinks

published Oct 30, 2019
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Money may may the world go round, but it also causes plenty of friction. And in this edition of Reddit’s “Am I The Asshole?”, one woman who is looking to buy a home is seeing just that. 

“My husband and I have been together for about twenty years. I currently bring in more than 90% of our money. He works in a creative field and is successful, but doesn’t make much money,” the woman shares. “He takes care of 100% of the housework and I love the arrangement.”

 But that’s just about where the perfect harmony ends. The couple lives in a very expensive area, but is dead set on purchasing a house there. However, they can’t afford to do it on their own. Enter: the woman’s father, who has offered to give her 20% of whatever house she wants as a down payment. However, there’s a catch: “He doesn’t want to give it to my husband,” she writes. While her dad is willing to make the gift, he’ll only do it the house is put in her name, and her husband isn’t put on the title. Despite the fact that they’ve already clocked 20 years of marriage, dear old dad is having none of it. 

“My Dad has always thought my husband was a mooch because I make most of the money,” she shares. “He says he wants to ‘protect’ me in the event of a divorce.”

Commenters seem to have mixed opinions on the this one. Several pointed out that if she makes as much money as she said she does, then she should be able to afford the downpayment on her own, without any limits or conditions from her dad that exclude her husband.

“YTA [You’re the asshole] if you literally make 10x what your husband makes, unless he merely has a hobby you’re making so much money you could save for a down payment within a few years,” the commenter writes. “Basic math— if he makes $20k a year that means you make $200k a year. If he makes $40k a year that means you make $400k a year. You didn’t say anything about children so that is a f—ton of money for one couple over 20 years. Actually, since you’ve been married 20 years—where the hell has the money gone??”

Others agreed that the author is the asshole, mostly because she’s not standing up for her husband to her father.

“YTA. You’ve been married 20 years, you claim you see your husband as a partner and support his low paying job and reap the benefits of him not having a demanding career. Now because your dad says so you want to punish him?”

And of course, there’s always the possibility that ESH, or “everyone sucks here.”

“How about ESH, except the husband? The father isn’t TA for wanting the mortgage he’d put on the house be inherited solely by OP, but his condition that husband can’t own the house is outrageous,” one commenter writes. “He’s probably worse than OP in my book.”

Of course when it comes down to it, one commenter managed to break down the issue into one sentence: 

“Which is more important to you,” they wrote. “Your relationship with your husband or your relationship with your father?”

Who do you think is the asshole? Tell us in the comments.