Are You From a Naked Family?

published Jan 9, 2014
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Imagine this scenario: you are hanging out one night with a group of friends, and someone suggests you all hop in the hot tub together — naked. Would you strip down at the drop of a hat? Or would you rather string yourself up by your toenails and be forced to watch Carrie Underwood’s live version of The Sound of Music?

Your comfort level —whatever it may be — probably has its roots in your childhood. Some households are completely fine streaking around, with little clothing or cares in the world. Others might as well wear flannel as a second skin. Over time I’ve come to classify these disparate types as either “naked” and “non-naked” families.

Here’s how to spot the two types:

  • In a naked family you might walk into a room one hot day and find your mother-in-law in her bra and underwear in front of the a/c unit trying to get cool.
  • In a non-naked family, your dad might ask your mother to tell your sister to tell you not to walk from the bathroom to the bedroom with just a towel on.
  • In a naked family you go to the bathroom with the doors wide open.
  • In a non-naked family, you lock the door AND keep a foot against it, just in case.
  • In a naked family, bodily humor and scatological jokes are perfectly acceptable.
  • In a non-naked family, you fast forward through the racy bits of Pride and Prejudice on movie night.

I grew up in a non-naked family, where wobbly bits were firmly tucked in their corsets. Fast forward many years later, and my spouse grew up with two doctors as parents — where nudity is SO not a big deal. In the beginning, our marriage was a clash of naked culture. But, after living together for so many years, we’ve reached an understanding. For example, she does not pressure me to go to Korean women’s spas for full-body scrub downs, and I, in return, might show a collarbone or so in the summer. One thing will never change however: I’ll never be the first one in the hot tub.

Did you grow up in a naked or non-naked family?