7 Things to Get Rid of After 50
For me, turning 50 coincided with a transatlantic move (my third move in a year-and-a-half!). The one thing that upheaval taught me is that it was time to let go — of a lot. I’m writing this from a 320-square-foot apartment in Paris I’m living in for three months and where my worldly goods came with me in exactly one small and one large suitcase. (To be fair, it’s a furnished apartment and the rest of my belongings are still back home.)
But still, the ability to pare down to just what I could physically carry would have been unthinkable before those first two moves and that milestone birthday that prompted plenty of soul searching about what’s important. Spoiler: It’s (mostly) not stuff.
I’m here today to share what moving three times — culminating in this Paris adventure — has taught me, and all of the things I’ve managed to get rid of at 50 (and honestly, I wish I’d let go of some of them sooner).
Those “Someday” Items
You know what I’m talking about. Someday you’ll play that instrument or bust out the watercolors, or use the sous vide machine. Meanwhile it takes up physical and emotional space — and I promise you will feel so much freer when it’s gone.
Maintenance Tools for Home Projects You Plan to Outsource
In the past, my husband and I would buy an expensive tool because “it’s still cheaper than hiring to get it done!” But truthfully, there’s no shame in hiring out home improvement projects. In fact, most of the time it’s going to look better and last longer anyway, so the tile cutter and nail gun and their pals can find new homes.
Outdated Ideas About “Age-Appropriate” Decor and Design
I almost didn’t even mention this because age is a construct, and the only person whose opinion matters about your home’s design and decor is — you got it — you. But just in case there’s some lingering notion that you shouldn’t have, I don’t know, a disco ball planter (or, hey, a disco ball!) past 50, let’s just go ahead and dispense with that. Right now. I leave party streamers up year-round in the rec room of our mid-century home because it makes me happy, and if my design sensibilities appeal more to my inner teenager than to Golden Girls, well, that’s just fine.
The “Good Guest Room” Setup
When my husband and I were newlyweds, we thought it was so important to have a guest room. In a two-bedroom apartment. Now? I’ve learned the value of dedicated rooms for TV watching, lounging, and socializing (the perk of that sprawling Victorian we called home for seven years!). Our current house (the one back home) has three bedrooms, but one is my husband’s home office because our relationship was happier when I didn’t have to hear all of his Zooms, and one is my study because being able to close the door when I work is worth more than offering someone a fancy guest room on the one or two occasions someone might visit from out of town. Friends and family are happy to get a hotel, and we’re happy to entertain at hours we all agree with (that don’t begin at 6 a.m.).
Expensive Decor That Doesn’t Bring Joy
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter what it cost back then if it doesn’t make me happy now. Maybe you (or someone else) splurged on a painting or other piece of art, and for a time it sparked joy. But your tastes have changed and you’d rather see something that aligns with your evolved aesthetic — or maybe nothing at all in that space! It’s OK! The point of the not-strictly-necessary things you surround yourself with is to add beauty and make you happy. If they don’t do that, they don’t have a place. They earned their keep while they did, and now they can make someone else happy.
Paper Trails from Lives or Careers You’ve Outgrown
The first move was the hardest. All those early clips of my print articles? Even the years’ worth of notebooks that I scrawled notes in? I had to be ruthless in the extreme downsize from a Victorian to a shotgun-style house. I had never, not once, picked any of them up to look at them. I flipped through a few while purging, and took a handful of photos (that I also know I’ll never look at, but, hey, baby steps!). If you’re still sitting on crates of, say, binders from training at your second job, or every paper you ever wrote in college, here’s a gentle nudge to say you can let go. I did it — and while, yes, it came with a pang, the sense of relief at letting go was so much better.
Inherited Items You Kept Out of Obligation
This is a tough one because it’s not just you. It’s family feels, and those are hard. All I can say is it helps to be downsizing and to legitimately be able to say “I just don’t have room anymore.” That said, if you’re holding onto something “too nice to use,” the best way you can show love is to use it. My mom gave me a box of real silverware, and that’s what we use every single day at our house.