This Is the Rudest Question You Can Ask at a Party
Even if you’re not typically the partying type, you’ll likely find yourself at a gathering or two once the holiday season comes around. Parties and other social gatherings can feel like their own ecosystems, all with their own sets of rules, hosting gift etiquette, norms, and expectations.
This can feel daunting, but etiquette is rarely set in stone; the dos and don’ts of parties tend to shift depending on the time, place, and people involved. A new survey from Talker Research, a market research and public relations firm, about how people view drinking at holiday parties illuminates this, showing a more open-minded and thoughtful approach — as well as what party guests want you to avoid asking.
The Question to Avoid Asking at Parties
Talker Research and the International Alliance for Responsible Drinking surveyed 2,000 U.S. adults 21 years old or older who drink in order to find out more about people’s thoughts when it comes to social drinking at holiday gatherings. From this data, they compiled a list of the top eight “drinking etiquette no-nos.” The one question you should never ask someone is why they’re not drinking at the party. In fact, 52% of respondents called it “inappropriate.”
Another indecent thing to do? “Pressuring someone to have another drink,” according to 63% of respondents. And this anti-pressure attitude prevailed throughout this party faux pas list. “Expecting everyone to participate in a round” was also deemed unacceptable by 49%, closely followed by “automatically refilling someone’s glass without asking” (48%). And 45% advised against pointing out that someone is keeping their drinking to a minimum as well.
Other Beverage Behavior Shifts
While a desire for independence and moderation at holiday parties generally pervaded this survey’s results, there were some interesting components when looking at the results by generation. For instance, 58% of Gen Z said they’d opt for a non-boozy alternative at a holiday party, while only 34% of baby boomers felt inclined to do so. (Perhaps this is because mocktails have gotten more interesting and widespread in recent years.)
At the same time, a surprising 60% of boomers agreed that “not drinking at social gatherings has become more socially acceptable over the past five years,” nearly double the rate of Gen Z who felt this way (37%). If anything, this all proves that every individual has their own boundaries when it comes to social drinking, and holiday parties should be pressure-free environments to have a nice time regardless of what’s in your cup.