Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor’s Controversial Relationship Rule Isn’t for Everyone

published May 19, 2024
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Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor attend the 74th Primetime Emmys at Microsoft Theater on September 12, 2022 in Los Angeles, California.
Credit: Momodu Mansaray / Stringer / Getty Images

It’s been almost 10 years since Whoopi Goldberg infamously said that she wouldn’t get married because she “didn’t want anyone living in her house.” Today, her philosophy on not cohabitating is more mainstream than ever. Many couples live or sleep separately because it works for them (and their sleep schedules). The next big celebs on the separate living trend? Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor.

In an appearance on an episode of the podcast Smartless, which is hosted by actors Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean Hayes, Paulson revealed that she and Taylor, who have been together for 10 years, will never move in together. And that’s exactly why their relationship works so well. 

“Yeah, we don’t live together. That’s the secret to it. We spend plenty of time together, but we don’t live in the same house,” she said. In fact, the secret sauce to their success is that the couple is “together when we want to be and we’re not when we don’t.”

Paulson and Taylor may live separately, but they are co-sleepers — Paulson did note that they do share a room whenever they are together, because she loves to fall asleep holding Taylor’s hand, but celebs and non-celebs alike are renegotiating sharing space (and the duvet cover).

In December of last year, Cameron Diaz said she’d get behind the arrangement herself: “I would literally, like, I have my house, you have yours, we have the family house in the middle.” Although Diaz does live full-time with her husband, Benji Madden, and their two children, couples are more open than ever about their “sleep divorces” and why it works for them.

In fact, we interviewed four similar (non-celebrity!) couples who couldn’t be happier with how they do love: “When we do anything together, it’s because we want to be together. If we’re watching TV together, if we want to eat together, sleep together, do an errand together, it’s because we want to do it together.”

Many relationship therapists have backed the “sleep divorce” because quality sleep is so important for overall health — and because not having a good night of shut-eye can make everyone, let’s just say, a bit more grouchy than normal. Want to starfish in the middle of the bed every night? You can! But some couples go well beyond the sleep divorce, and not living together means they get to run their space how they want — no compromises necessary — meaning that all the relationship arguments can be about what to watch on Netflix or order on Seamless instead.