I “Fika” Every Day — It’s the Chill Scandinavian Ritual I Need

On the weekends or days when we’re both working from home, my husband and I often sit down in the afternoon and have a coffee. It’s a little daily ritual that I look forward to, but up until recently I didn’t have a name for it. Then one day, while waiting with my kids at a doctor’s appointment, I picked up a magazine to read and pass the time and discovered a small mention of something called “fika” in a local coffee shop ad. As it turns out, I was following this Scandinavian custom without knowing it.

While I don’t have Scandinavian roots, the area where I live does. We have Norwegian greetings on signs, and people say “uff da” (a Scandinavian expression) when they’re surprised, exasperated, or relieved. Lefse (Norwegian flatbread) is a staple at church harvest suppers, Fridays are for fish fries, and there’s even the occasional lutefisk (a Nordic seafood dish) supper. Not only is fika a Scandinavian custom that I’m happy to introduce to my kids, who are part Norwegian, but it’s also just a cozy way to spend an afternoon. And as the Wisconsin winter approaches, I’m happy to add as much coziness as possible by incorporating this tradition into our weekends.

Derived from “kaffi” the 19th-century word for coffee, fika is the Scandinavian daily ritual of taking a midday coffee break. But it’s not a rushed moment jammed in between tasks. In The Little Book of Fika, Lynda Balselev writes that “fika is a necessary component of work-life balance,” and it’s ultimately “an expression of contentment, finding balance during the day in the pleasure of sipping a cup of coffee.” 

It’s meant to be a social moment where family or friends linger over a cup of coffee and, often, a sweet treat. It’s a time to reconnect and recharge to prepare for finishing out the rest of the day. And sometimes it happens twice a day — or, in my case, becomes an essential part of my weekends.

Because my husband and I have been taking coffee breaks together for years and both look forward to it, I thought it would be fun to include the kids a little more intentionally. They’re all 10 and under, and it’s true what they say: The days are long, but the years are short. So I’m always on the lookout for ways to create meaningful moments together. For the first “official” fika, my husband was at work, so I gathered the kids at the table and had a little tray of treats ready to go along with some milk for them and, of course, a freshly brewed coffee for me. The kids took to the concept immediately and all practiced saying the word while all asking in turn for me to explain again what exactly it meant and why we were doing it. 

I happily obliged. We ended up playing Uno while we snacked and chatted. The next weekend, I took a tray of treats and some milk out to the deck and sat down with my husband and our coffees. This time, the kids sort of drifted out to the table for their “fika drink” and grabbed a snack. One stayed to chat for a bit while the others grabbed their snacks and ran. As the kids have gotten older, they’re much more able to entertain themselves, and this often means they’re either piled in the living room watching TV or spread out around the house all doing their own thing. While we eat most meals at the table together, fika provides a unique opportunity to just relax and hang out.

One of the things that I love about a ritual like fika is that it’s not forced. That actually defeats the purpose. Once I set up the idea, I sort of let go of the reins and decided to create more of a moment rather than a routine. When we’re home on weekend afternoons, I’ll set out a tray of snacks and then sit down with my coffee. If we decide to play a game, great! If the kids sit for a few minutes and then go about their day, also great!

I’ve also started doing this, although less formally, after school. When my kids and sometimes their friends come inside, I have a tray of snacks waiting for them. Sometimes they’ll gather around the table and talk while they eat — especially if I’ve made some sort of baked good — other times they take their snack and move onto other things. Either way, I like that I’m instilling, even in a small way, the idea that there’s so much value in taking a few moments to connect with family and friends and enjoy a little treat.