How a 116-Year-Old Holiday Tradition Helps Me Stay in Touch with My Long-Distance Friends
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My phone works overtime during the holidays, pinging me with reminders for parties and gift exchanges. But the notifications that I not-so-patiently wait for — and open the second they come in — are when my two best friends post their Advent calendar unboxing videos in our shared iPhone album.
In a video from our inaugural long-distance holiday experiment in December 2021, my friend Sammi is hunched over her desk in her Los Angeles apartment, laser-focused on a small packet of LEGOs. She swiftly assembles the plastic bricks to reveal the most recent offering from her LEGO Star Wars Advent calendar: a teeny-tiny LEGO Storm Trooper.
“Merry Christmas, one and all!” Sammi says to the camera in her best LEGO Storm Trooper voice, holding the finished minifigure. The crowd (and by “crowd” I mean me and the third and final person in the album, my friend Ellie) went absolutely wild in the video’s comment section.
This was our first ever “Adfriendt,” our silliest and most sacred holiday ritual.
What Is “Adfriendt,” aka the Group Chat Holiday Tradition?
As long-distance best friends scattered across the country in L.A., Chicago, and Boston since 2017, we’d mastered the art of hanging out without actually being in the same room (e.g., watching The Holiday over Zoom). But during the pandemic, we decided that our long-distance friendship needed an extra dose of holiday cheer.
The concept is simple: One friend (we rotate yearly) scours the internet for the most exciting, delicious, and/or bizarre Advent calendars, then sends a unique one to each of us. (Fun fact: Traditional Advent calendars have been around since at least 1908, but somehow we find more creative versions every year!)
Starting Dec. 1 (you can start whenever it works for you and your friends), we each open one door a day, recording the process on our phones to show off that day’s treasure. Then, we upload our videos to a shared iPhone album, which notifies the others of the new video and allows us to comment as we watch along.
Being able to do it on our own time means we don’t have to coordinate our schedules for 24 days straight. We make an exception for the final door of the calendar, though, opening them all at once over a celebratory Zoom call.
After much deliberation that first year, we landed on the Star Wars calendar for Sammi, a luxe Godiva chocolate calendar for Ellie, and a Barbie calendar for me. Once Advent rolled around, we started opening doors and recording our videos — to hilarious results.
How to Film and React to the Daily Unboxing Videos
You can keep your clips simple and short, quickly showcasing and reacting to your trinket, or you can really get into it. As the days went on, we did impressions of influencer-style unboxing videos and invited special guests (our dogs and partners).
By the end of it, Ellie’s chocolate tasting notes became more detailed than the Michelin Guide, and Sammi made some LEGO constructions that we’re still puzzling over (“at no point during this video did I understand what you were building,” I commented once).
The comments section of the shared album really is the key to this tradition because you can share your thoughts as you’re watching the video. Sammi, Ellie, and I like to live-react as we watch.
“Looks like a cherry cordial,” Sammi predicted on one of Ellie’s videos. Thirty seconds later, after her guess turned out to be spot-on, she followed up with: “KNEW IT.”
How Our Group Chat Holiday Tradition Brought Us Together
Those videos from Sammi and Ellie became the brightest spots of my days. They replicated, in a way that nothing else has, the experience of spending time with an in-person best friend.
As I dressed my Barbie in a new wintry accessory, I found myself chatting to the camera about whatever else happened to be on my mind — whether it be wondering how I should decorate my Christmas tree or pondering a work problem. Sammi and Ellie did the same.
The comments section was positively abuzz the day Ellie asked for input on a classic fashion dilemma. “Are my new jeans too short?” she asked as she bit into her chocolate, backing away from the camera to show off her pants. “Sound off in the comments below.”
Long-distance friends miss out on tidbits that feel too minor to mention over a text or a call, but that’s what makes up so much of daily life. During Adfriendt, I felt, for a few minutes each day, like we were back in high school free period, sipping our midday Frappuccinos and sharing every single thought that entered our brains.
Since the inaugural exchange, it’s become a must-do holiday tradition — 2024 will mark our fourth year. This group has supported each other through some seismic changes: breakups, marriages, job changes, and moves. But, every year, December reminds us of the value of sharing the less-significant moments.
I can’t wait to get another peek into my faraway friends’ everyday lives, one little cardboard door at a time.