The Mega List of Things to Do Together in Bed (That Have Nothing to Do With Sex or TV)

Let’s preface this by stating clearly that there is absolutely nothing wrong with sex or TV. They’re both fantastic when enjoyed with a loving partner (or by yourself). But whether your relationship is brand new or you’ve been together so long you’re inadvertently starting to dress the same, building intimacy as a couple is important. And real intimacy, well, that can sometimes take more than just a little Netflix and chill.

Sure, sex and even the occasional night of binge-watching contribute to a feeling of closeness. However, intimacy is a many layered thing — it has myriad components you can tap into. So why not shake up your nighttime routine to add depth to your relationship? Beds are good for so much more than just sleeping, catching up on This Is Us (read: ugly crying all over your comforter), and getting it on. Keep reading for 39 other ideas that — bonus — will strengthen your bond.

(Of course, if you struggle with insomnia, you might just want to stick to sleep-focused activities in the bedroom.)

• Talk about your day — high points and low points
• Let each other vent
• Share a secret… like, a real secret
• Indulge in gossip (c’mon, it can be good for you!)
• Check in on your relationship: Are you both happy? What more do you need?

• Listen to music or, if you’ve got pipes, sing to each other
• Grab a couple of grown-up coloring books and get your Crayola on
• Macramé yourself a wall hanging
• Write short stories together — take turns picking the genre
• Mentally make the perfect mix tape

• Schedule your next date night
• Whip up a meal plan for the week
• Make a to-do list for the month
• Plan something you’ve been putting off (you know what it is)

• Listen to books on tape
• Read to each other
• Catch up on your favorite podcast
• Bust out a board game
• Complete a crossword puzzle

• Have a joke-off
• Snap a few funny selfies
• See who can win a classic staring contest
• Tell each other your weirdest dreams — literal and figurative
• Play Truth or Dare (keep it PG, you guys)

• Meditate
• “Draw” on each other’s backs with your fingers
• Brush each other’s hair
• Cuddle because, cuddling
• Give each other a back-scratch or massage

• Pass notes, middle school style
• Point out your favorite things about the other person
• Flip through old photo albums together
• Reminisce about your first date
• Say thank you — for anything, for everything

• Map out a vacation
• Pore over the real estate section and pick out your dream house
• Envision what you’d do with your hypothetical lottery winnings
• Mull over your future together: Kids? Pets? Travel?
• Make a bucket list