My Grandpa’s “Rule of 3” for Hosting Goes Three Generations Deep — and Saves Me So Much Stress

As a textbook introvert who values my alone time more than anything, I surprisingly love hosting visitors — within reason, of course. I live in a pretty small one-bedroom apartment, meaning it’s close quarters crashing in my living room, but I’ve perfected my setup with the coziest overnight-guest-approved sofa (which two friends can attest to) plus an extra sound machine and bedding at the ready. 

All that said, when someone from out of town recently asked to stay at my place for a full seven (!) days, I panicked. It’s one thing to host a close friend over a weekend, it’s another to keep up with a guest 24/7 during the workweek in a confined space. 

I called my mom for advice (as one does) and she relayed this dilemma to my dad, who mentioned his dad’s three-day rule. Apparently, my late grandfather instilled in my dad and aunt that three days was the maximum amount of time there should be a guest in someone’s home. Any longer than that, and they’d be overstaying their welcome. 

I’d never heard of this family “rule” before, which apparently dates back to my great-grandfather, but it’s a fairly reasonable boundary to keep in mind, both as a host and visitor. Of course, this can vary on a case-by-case basis, so absolutely no shade to anyone who’s ever stayed with friends or family more than three days (I’ve done it, too). This recent instance was the first time I’d personally been asked to host for a week, though, and I ultimately channeled my grandfather’s rule and had to decline (luckily, this person had backup options). 

Now, I’m aiming to cap all future overnight visits to three days max, without feeling guilty. Because let’s be honest: Entertaining can be undeniably exhausting, even if you do have a spare bedroom and/or bathroom. And that’s not even accounting for all the cleaning and prep involved beforehand. 

Not sure how to (politely!) put your foot down, in case someone asks to stay more than three consecutive days? You can say you have a few upcoming commitments (a little white lie never hurt anyone) or even simply that it won’t work out for that duration — hopefully no questions asked. 

At the end of the day, it all comes down to what you’re comfortable with in terms of overnight visitors, and there may be absolutely unavoidable instances of having to accommodate friends and family for several days on end, like during the holidays. But if you live in a small space or don’t have a guest bedroom, keep the “rule of three” in mind year-round to help put a stop to hosting fatigue, especially for my fellow introverts out there.