The Trick to Dealing with Noisy Neighbors (and Finally Getting Some Sleep!)

It’s the middle of the night and you can’t sleep. Your noisy neighbors are having yet another party and the music is blaring through the walls into your space. You’re staring at your phone knowing that you have to get some sleep before your alarm goes off. What’s a sleep-deprived neighbor to do?

Noisy neighbors can be disruptive and because they live next door, you don’t want things to escalate — but at the same time you want and need to address the issue. Rather than calling the police or writing the first passive-aggressive note that comes to mind, experts recommend approaching the situation with caution.

Here’s how experts recommend you handle noisy neighbors so you can get back to the more important things in life, like uninterrupted sleep. 

Before you assume your neighbor’s noise levels are just too high, you need to do your due diligence to determine if the laws will support your claim. 

According to Joshua Lee, active-duty police supervisor and professor at Grand Canyon University, one potential reliable resource is the local noise ordinances in your city. “Nearly every state has noise ordinances that are split into three categories — disorderly conduct, public nuisance, and municipal/town ordinances. Each statute has its own requirements,” says Lee.

Generally, disorderly conduct means you’re intentionally disturbing the peace of others. According to Lee, this requires a higher standard of proof, so officers will likely first give the noisy neighbor a warning. If the noise continues, then they may issue a criminal citation. Public nuisance claims are more inclusive, and cover “any noise that is an annoyance, injurious to health, indecent or offensive, and interferes with the comfortable enjoyment of life or property by the community,” explains Lee. Although this statute has a more open approach, more than one person must complain about the noisy neighbor before the officer can take action. 

Keep in mind that ordinances will vary depending on where you are. “Nearly every city and town has its own city/town ordinance that is more restrictive than the state statutes,” says Lee. “Language like ‘no loud noises between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.’ is common in these types of ordinances. In those cases, intent does not need to be met, merely the sound during that time frame gives officers the legal right to act.” 

If you’re certain there’s been a violation, you can report the incident to the non-police number available in your city; speak to your landlord or HOA about the noise; or file a complaint with local authorities. Make certain you’ve documented and logged the date, time, and level of noise. 

You may want to avoid direct contact with your neighbors and ask your landlord to intervene instead — but your landlord might not always respond in the way you hoped. Attorney Chrissy Grigoropolous says, “Landlords are not particularly rattled or motivated by noise complaints. It’s best to refer to your lease and check if your noisy neighbor is compliant with ‘quiet hours.’ If not, evidence is key. Keep a noise log and record any infractions on your phone.” 

Some of the things you may note, Lee suggests, include the following: 

• The date, time, and type of the loud noise. 
• A recording of the noise (try to record at least 5 minutes). 
• What action did you take? 
• What was your loss? 
• Date and times you spoke with the property manager.

If your landlord is still dragging their feet, attorney Jamie E. Wright recommends taking action. “Report the noise to your local noise control office or city council. For persistent offenders, call the non-emergency police line to file a formal complaint. Remember, you’ve got the right to a peaceful home, so don’t be afraid to make some noise yourself if it means getting results,” says Wright. 

Before jumping to reporting your neighbor, you may want to pause and think about the ramifications of making a formal complaint. Lee recommends “neighbors work minor complaints out on their own first before getting the landlord and police involved.” 

Grigoropoulos agrees with Lee’s advice. “Just keep in mind that neighbors are your lifeline if and when you’re in a jam. You may be surprised by what you can achieve with an honest and thoughtful conversation. Finding a happy medium that is suitable to both parties is the best route to go before escalating,” says Grigoropoulos. 

If talking doesn’t help and if you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to confront your noisy neighbors. “Instead, if you live in an apartment complex, contact the property manager. If you live in a single-family home community, your landlord might not be able to help so you will need to contact the police using your city’s non-emergency phone number. If you are hearing fighting, gunshots, or threats of violence, please call 911,” says Lee. 

Sometimes it isn’t clear how to approach your neighbor — especially if you’re unsure whether the conversation will make things awkward or worse. Certified Etiquette Expert and Columnist at JustAnswer, Dr. August Abbott, has some thoughts on approaching this delicate situation.

It may be hard, but Abbott advises, “take a moment and try to be patient. If the noise continues, set a timer, figurative or real, to allow this to go on for a half hour or hour longer. If it doesn’t stop, then it may be time to make that visit.” 

Once you approach your neighbor, especially when it involves loud music, ask if the two of you could work out an arrangement on timing and volume of the music. Reassure your neighbor and “tell them what you’ll do on your part, like wearing headphones during the agreed-upon timeframe and wait it out,” says Abbott. A good way to end the conversation is by thanking them for hearing you out. 

“The best approach [for most etiquette issues] is often to simply have a polite-yet-direct conversation with the person using a tone that’s non-judgmental and value-neutral,” says Nick Leighton, NewYork etiquette expert and host of the podcast Were You Raised by Wolves?. “It’s best to assume that this noise making is not nefarious and deliberate … they simply don’t realize how sound is traveling or its impact on you,” he says.

Whether you talk to them, report them, or not, there are some proactive measures you can take to muffle your neighbor’s sounds. Here is a list of what may help.

To soundproof your space so that the noise isn’t as loud in your home, try some of these tips.

• Seal gaps: Use caulking, weather-stripping door sweeps to close any gaps in windows and doors. 
• Add heavy curtains: Thick, heavy curtains can help absorb some of the noise. 
• Install acoustic panels: Acoustic foam and sound panels can muffle sound. 
• Consider thick rugs: Rugs on the floor can dampen noise. 
• Use earplugs and headphones: If you’re looking for a low-cost solution, earplugs or noise-canceling headphones can reduce noise. 

Shift your furniture to muffle noise coming into your space — here are a few suggestions. 

• Use bookshelves to your advantage: Place filled bookshelves against shared walls.
• Move desks and beds: Move your beds and desks aways from shared walls so the noise isn’t so prominent in places where you need to concentrate or sleep.
• Utilize noise machines: Use white noise machines to drown out noise.